The Abducted
by FunSubs
Summary: A fairly new member of the team OC is abducted in her home and the team is forced to come to terms with a case so personal and must set aside their feelings if they want to find her. The team becomes frustrated, angry and loses hope when the case seems to hit a dead end. Personally believe story is better than summary
1. Unexpected Findings

**Hey I really hope you like this! PLEASE REVIEW! The smallest things help me grow as a writer! Thank you!**

**I OWN NOTHING :(**

***Nicole (OC) POV***

_That case was rough _I thought to myself while driving home. This job was fairly new to me still and I wasn't yet used to everything we were faced with. It wasn't easy. After a year I thought I could get over it, but now a year and three months in, I'm not so sure you can ever truly get used to it. Maybe it's just one of those things.

I pulled into the driveway and sat in the car for a minute, the thought still on my mind. Even after the time I had spent with the team and the relationships I had established, I still wasn't sure if I was good enough to do the job. The thought of leaving scared me and I knew I didn't want to go down that path. I pushed the thought out of my mind and got out of the car.

I shuffled through my bag to find my keys and unlocked the door. I immediately stripped on my way up the stairs and hopped into the shower. The warm water felt so good and I was so reluctant to leave, but after about twenty minutes I accepted defeat and put on a T-Shirt and a pair of sweats. I climbed into bed and fell asleep instantly.

I'm not sure what caused me to wake up, but when I did, I was horrified. Standing next to the bed and hovering over me was a shadowy, hooded figure. I stared down the barrel of his gun pointed towards me in shock.

"What d-" Before I could even get two words out, the man commanded me to stand. I did, hands raised, and he smacked my face hard with the gun. I lost my balance, hitting my head on my nightstand on the way down. I was hit with a rush of pain, but everything blackened moments after.

When I opened my eyes, I cringed - the pain in my head pouring over me. I turned my head side to side, searching for a clue as to where I was, but it too dark to make out anything. Then it all sank in. I just wanted to wake up and be able to go to work and see my team again, but I knew this was no dream. I had to accept that. I found myself bound to a chair, my hands cuffed behind me as if I were being taken in like the sick bastards we catch regularly.

Suddenly, I made out the sound of a door being opened and a stream of light flooded the room, and soon the lights were turned on. Instead of looking at the man descending the steps, I took the time to scan the room. The walls were hard concrete and not much lay in the room except for a camcorder, a laptop , and a stack of what looked to be newspaper clippings.

"Look who's awake. So nice to see you conscious Nicole." The man smiled. He still wore his black sweatshirt, but took down his hood. He was middle-aged with short hair and a medium build. He looked familiar but I couldn't tell where from.

"W-who are you?" I asked, staring him down. He smiled devilishly and my stomach churned. This man was obviously sick.

"Don't recognize me? Is that right? You've seen me plenty of times." He walked towards the camera and turned it on, connecting it to his laptop. I got a sick feeling in my stomach.

"I-I can't seem to place it honestly." I said watching him play with the laptop for a moment. He turned it around so that the feed from the camera faced me. I swallowed hard.

"Think hard. You know me. You've seen me many times." he said, not smiling anymore. It hit me. I did know him. He hung around with the reporters whenever the team made a statement to the public regarding a case. But it was more than that. I also saw him in public places such as on a street corner or in the store. I told Derek about it, but he said I should be flattered I have an admirer. I wasn't serious about it then, so neither was he. Now I wish I would've been.

"Jake Drummer. What do you want with me?" I asked, staring at the man with hard eyes. I had talked to him before when he stood with the reporters and asked his own questions although he obviously wasn't with them. He didn't bombard me with questions and accusations which was a relief, so I answered the few questions he asked. Damn.

"It's quite simple really. I want you. Only you." he moved to touch my cheek and to lift my chin to look at him again when I looked away. I cringed at his touch. He walked towards the table and moved a chair to sit in front of me with the supposed newspaper clippings in hand.

"I have every printed article that features you in some way. You're quite the photogenic girl aren't you?" he smiled, showing me the articles one by one. He began to read every word of each article. I hoped Derek would remember. He was my only hope.

***Back At The BAU***

"Who would have an interest in abducting her? We need to think hard. I know this case is personal, but don't let that get in the way and cloud your judgement. Think." Hotch ordered, pacing the room, staring at the team in the conference room.

"D-do you think she's okay. I'm concerned about the blood..." Garcia walked into the room carrying her laptop.

"We have to assume the answer is yes. Does anyone have anything to offer up? Maybe someone who kept their distance but who's eyes always seemed to be fixed on her?" Hotch asked the team.

"Someone who showed interest, maybe even talked to her, but didn't appear to be a threat?" Rossi offered up.

"The abduction occurred at night and there was obviously forced entry. She wasn't friends with this person and was threatened by them for a reason or another, probably a gun. Had no weapon been present, she would've fought,harder than most. The UnSub most likely knew this about her." Reid said, analyzing what they had seen at the scene of abduction.

"I might know someone..." Derek finally chimed in after listening to what he was supposed to be looking for.

"Who did you have in mind?" Hotch asked urgently.

"There was this dude she told me about that always seemed to pop up. She said he asked her questions and hung around while we gave statements to the public. He didn't seem to be any harm, especially because according to her, he was kind and didn't interrogate her for answers. I remembered she mentioned that he definitely wasn't a reporter though." Derek recalled, hoping it would help.

"Where else did she see him? Did she say?" Reid questioned.

"I think she said she saw him at a store occasionally and around town like the post office and everything. You think he could be our guy?" Derek answered, searching for the team's reaction.

"Sounds like a classic stalker to me." Prentiss said while the others nodded in agreement.

"What type of thing would he want with her? Why is he stalking her?" JJ asked trying to help further the profile.

"Well there's no denying she's attractive and maybe the fact a woman was in this line of duty sparked his interest." Hotch said speculating the situation.

"Morgan we need a name. Did she ever say a name?" Prentiss asked, hoping the answer was 'yes'.

"She did say, but I can't remember what it was." he admitted shamefully.

"Morgan you need to think. What was his name?" Hotch asked in a harsh tone, slamming both hands on the table, leaning towards Morgan. All eyes set on him.

"Umm...J. It started with a 'J'. I remember that." he said, still ashamed he couldn't come up with more.

"John? Jordan?" JJ asked hoping to spark his memory. He shook his head.

"James?" Prentiss added. Again Morgan shook his head.

"Jared? Jacob?" Garcia added, knowing she didn't need any profiling skills to help with this one. He began to shake his head, then stopped.

"Wait. Jacob. Jake. His name was Jake. I'm sure of it."

"Score one for Garcia..." she said quietly in a victorious tone.

"Last name." Rossi said not ready to cheer just yet.

"It was...Dra-...no. Drenner? Damn that's not it either!" Morgan was frustrated.

"C'mon. Her life is at stake here. You know this." Hotch said angrily trying to push him into remembering.

"Drammer...Drum..Drummer! It's Drummer. Jake Drummer." Morgan scrambled to get out.

Garcia typed the name into her database as fast as she could.

"What have you got?" Rossi asked.

"Umm, charged twice with stalking two different young women. The first one five years ago, the second two years ago..."

"What jobs did these women do?" Hotch asked anxious for answers.

"The first was a laywer, the second a judge."

"Women in high positions who help to uphold the justice system." Reid analyzed. "That's gotta be why."

"Do we have an address?" Rossi asked impatiently

"Sending to your phones...now." Garcia smiled hitting 'enter'.

"Thanks, Garcia. Let's go." Hotch ordered rushing out the door with the rest of the team.

**Okay so I really hope you like it so far and PLEASE PLEASE review! :D Thank you so much for reading! Any suggestions, feel free to add in your review!**

**Nicole, xoxo**


	2. Coming Up Empty

***OC POV***

I never thought he'd finish reading the articles. Every time I thought he was finished, there was yet another article. After he finished reading the last one, he set them down on the table and placed the chair back towards the table.

"I never knew there was so much written in the paper that included me in some shape or form" I said trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"You seem surprised. Surely a beautiful, smart, powerful woman like yourself doesn't think she doesn't deserve the credit, does she?"

"I'm not that great." I admitted honestly. His smile immediately disappeared and he lifted his hand to smack my face hard.

"Don't you dare say that. Now, do you think your friends made it to my place yet? I want to surprise them with something." the smile returned just as soon as it disappeared.

"What are you going to do? You're not going to hurt them are you?" I asked frantically, the fear evident in my voice.

"Oh of course not. They don't deserve that much time and effort from me. They want to see you and I'm going to let them. If they finally piece it together and head to my place, I have my computers set to receive footage straight from here. I know they'll enjoy seeing you. I just want to give them what they want." he answered smoothly and calmly.

"I can't tell you if they're there, but I'd say in ten minutes, if I know my team, they'll be there if they aren't already." I said honestly.

"Good. I'll see you in ten minutes then." he smiled deviously and walked up the steps. I took a deep breath and expected the worst.

***Third Person***

"How much longer?" Derek asked from the back seat of the SUV on the way to Drummer's house.

"Five minutes tops." Rossi announced from the passenger seat.

David Rossi was correct. Within five minutes, the team arrived at the Drummer residence and heading in armed and ready.

"Drummer! Open up, FBI!" Morgan shouted. With no answer from inside the residence, he busted down the door and the house was scoured by the team.

"It's all clear, she's not here." Prentiss said disappointed.

"Garcia, check the computer. Everyone else, look for anything that might help us locate her, or to at least expand the profile to do so" Hotch ordered heading to one of the rooms.

"I found something..." JJ announced. The team followed her voice to find a room covered in shots of the missing agent plastered across the walls, along with articles that had something to do with her.

"This guy is sickly obsessed." Prentiss concluded what the rest of the team was thinking.

"Guys...I've got something too." Garcia shouted from her spot at his computer.

The team filed in quickly only to find a live feed of Nicole handcuffed to a chair with the bloody mark on her head and her cheek reddened from abuse.

"Oh my God..." Reid said staring at the many monitors displaying the same feed.

"Can you track it?" Hotch asked Garcia although he knew she must've tried that.

"I'm sorry, Sir. The IP address changes every 40 seconds. I can't trace it. He's smart." she said sullenly, accepting defeat.

The man walked towards the handcuffed agent and faced the camera.

"Hello agents. According to your precious member here, you should be at my place by now. You should be happy to know she's alive and well." he smiled that devilish smile.

Nicole looked up to the camera, no tears, and no extreme abuse visible. She really did look okay.

He turned to her and stroked her hair lovingly and she turned away, tensing immediately at his touch.

"Stop it!" he yelled, hitting her hard in the face. He grabbed her face and forced her to look at him. "That's better" he gave her another hit in the face and turned to face the camera again.

"You should know I'm happy to keep this feed up because I am confident you will never find us and I can keep her forever. " he grinned ear to ear saying this and once again stroked her hair and cheek.

Derek turned away, refusing to look at this man touch his best friend. He was enraged and promised himself he'd take down the sick son of a bitch for laying a hand on her like that. JJ set a hand on his shoulder, showing him she understood and that it would be okay.

"We'll get this guy." she squeezed his shoulder before walking away to look for anything that could help.

"He's confident we'll never find her and he's created the fantasy in his head that they can be together for the rest of their lives." Reid said analyzing what Drummer said and what specific words he chose to use.

Prentiss continued to watch the screen with Hotch and watched as he kissed her cheek and knelt down to hold her hands.

"I can't believe how strong she is. It's amazing how she hasn't cried at this point. Not even after he hit her brutally twice." Prentiss examined.

"We knew she was strong all along. We just didn't realize how strong she was until being strong was her only option like it is now." Hotch answered her curiosity.

Derek's back still faced the screens and it was Hotch who spoke to him next.

"Listen, I know how difficult this is for you, it is for all of us. You just need to set your feelings aside and act as if it's anyone. We need to look for anything to help find her. When we do, I can assure you she will be alive." Hotch walked away as JJ did to search the house. Morgan took a deep breath and headed up the stairs.

He entered what looked like to be his bedroom and began rummaging through the drawers. Nothing was unusual, except a planner book in his nightstand drawer. He shuffled through the pages and realized there was something off. He headed downstairs to confront the team.

"Guys, this is a plan book for where he's going to head daily, but it's not like the average schedule." Morgan announced as the team stopped what they were doing to gather around him.

"Everything in this book is much too specific and there are things included that we'd expect from a guy like this. _Gets home: 10:10 PM on Monday 7/08, 11:07 PM on Thursday 7/11_...that's not normal. This isn't his schedule. It's hers. He tracked her. He was watching every moment of her life and wanted to know the similarities in the times she'd be home according to the day. This guy is seriously obsessed. Look at this._ Neighbor 1: Gets home: 5:37 PM on Monday 7/08, Lights off: 10:00 PM..._"

"He wanted to make sure no one would see him when he finally made his move to take her. He's been planning this for a while." Rossi concluded.

Derek set the book down so that the rest of the team could analyze it and headed back upstairs and sat on the edge of the bed. He pressed his fingers to his temples in frustration.

"It's gonna be okay. We're gonna find her, Morgan." Rossi said at the door.

"We came up empty." Derek said.

"No we didn't. We now know she's alive and can watch her and his every move. We also added to the profile which will help us find her. I consider this one of the small victories that's gonna lead us to the big one when we find her alive."

Derek just nodded and went back to searching._ It's gonna be one hell of a day. Hopefully it's not longer than that. I don't know who'd suffer worse. _He thought to himself, the hope leaving him only to be replaced with anxiety and fear.

**Hope it's still good you guys! Thanks for reading and PLEASE keep reviewing!**

**Nicole, xoxo**


	3. Expanding the Profile

***Third Person***

"Garcia, do me a favor and on your computer check what kind of car this guy drives. After that, you can all take a break. Tomorrow we'll inform the police statewide about this. The public should know too. We're going to need all the help we can get to find her and bring her home safely." Hotch added.

"Jeep, sir. Blue. I have the licence plate and model number too." Garcia informed the leader.

"Good. Good work today everyone. Get some rest." Hotch called, checking around the house to make sure everyone heard his order.

"Derek, I said everyone can take a break now. We'll pick it up in the morning." Hotch said as he walked passed Derek who was shuffling through drawers again and through the plan book.

"Sir, if it's alright with you, I'd like to take Garcia's spot to keep an eye on the feed. I can't stop yet." he said, walking towards the door where Hotch stood.

"As much as I wish you would really get some sleep, it is a good idea to keep an eye on it. Don't stay up too much later though." Hotch finally moved out of the way for Derek to move past him.

He sat at the computer just watching each screen playing the exact same image. There she was, defenseless and alone. _How could I be so stupid? _he thought to himself angrily. He slammed a fist on the desk.

"Derek are you okay?" He turned around to see the young Dr. Spencer Reid standing a few feet away, a concerned look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Kid. I'm just having a hard time with this considering she told me about him and instead I joked about it. I told her she should be flattered she had an admirer. I was so damn stupid!" he raised his voice.

"Derek, it's not your fault. You couldn't have known it would escalate to this." Spencer walked towards the man and pulled up a chair.

"I'm a profiler, damn it! I should've known." he was still angry but it was obvious he was starting to cool down some and his anger was turning to fear and sadness and shame.

"You didn't take him as a threat because he present himself as a threat. You did nothing wrong." the young doctor set a hand on Derek's shoulder.

"I-I'm just supposed to protect her. Now look at her. Held captive by some creep with a fantasy." Derek shook his head in disgust.

"Why isn't she sleeping? She's been up just as long if not longer than us and she must be exhausted." Spencer speculated staring at the screen.

"She's probably scared. Plus you know the insomnia and everything. Her sleep problems are just extensive. That might be why too." Derek said calmly, but turned to look at Spencer when he didn't say anything.

"What kind of sleep problems?" Reid was intrigued by this new information.

"She's got insomnia, has terrible nightmares. I thought you knew." Spencer simply shook his head.

"I had no idea." he said, still staring at the screen. For a moment, the poor agent turned her gaze to the camera. Both Derek and Spencer were frozen by the fear, pain, and agony in her eyes.

"Why?" Derek whispered, hanging his head to allow a few tears to slip out.

"Wait, look." Spencer pointed at the screen. Derek raised his gaze to her mouthing out the words that appeared to be "I'm sorry."

"Damn it!" Derek cried, hanging his head again in tears. Spencer took the liberty of allowing Derek to cry into his shoulder and continued to stare at the screen to mark any abnormalities or clues. Nothing.

Morning came and nothing much had changed. By 7 AM, Hotch was coming down the stairs to check in with whoever else was up. He turned the corner to find both Dr. Reid and Derek Morgan staring at the computer entranced and drained.

"What are you both doing up?" he asked

"Oh, morning, Sir. Derek and I have been watching the feed to make sure nothing came up.

"Did anything come up at all?" Both men looked to one another, then back to Hotch.

"Well, she did turn her gaze towards the camera at about 3:15 AM and mouthed what appeared to be "I'm sorry." The only question is what for?" Spencer continued to think about the event, trying to see why she would say that. Hotch looked down, taking the new information in, then looked back up to the boys.

"Is there anything else?"

"She hasn't slept, but it's common for her considering she has insomnia and usually has pretty terrible nightmares. She's been in a constant battle with sleep, but that's nothing new." Derek said standing up.

"I didn't know that. Uh, good work guys. I think we should try to add to this profile more if we can. Any bit helps as you all well know." The team gathered in the kitchen to discuss anything that might be useful in finding out who this guy was.

"So he was charged with stalking twice, correct?" JJ asked. Garcia nodded. "Why wasn't that it this time. What made him escalate to abducting this time?" The team thought about this.

"Boost of confidence?" Rossi suspected.

"That's probably part of it, but what boosted his confidence?" Prentiss questioned.

"You said she actually talked to this guy before, right? Well what if that gave him confidence. That her not threatening him in any way was his version of her giving consent." Reid said looking at all possibilities.

"You're saying because she didn't yell or glare at him, this guy thinks she has the hots for him? That is beyond wrong." Garcia asked disgusted.

"It's a sick world." Derek said and Penelope rubbed his back.

"Typically when someone is abducted they fight, then think if they play along, they'll live. Unfortunately, once they play along, the UnSub gets tired and kills them. In this case, however, I think it's the opposite. He wants her to play along. He believes they're going to be together forever. His fantasy won't be fulfilled until they both die of old age." Hotch said.

"...Do you think she knows that?" Penelope asked, her voice weak and afraid. The room went silenced.

"She's a talented profiler. Let's hope so." Rossi said.

"This guy won't hesitate to kill her if it's his only chance though." Prentiss said sadly. The team cringed, all avoiding the possibility in their minds. Derek's head shot up.

"What makes you say that?" Hotch asked, staring at the young woman.

"You've seen how violent he can get. The slightest things tick him off. When his fantasy isn't being fulfilled to a tee, he gets angry and abuses her in hopes of setting her straight." Prentiss analyzed

"She's right. This information needs to be released across the state to both the police and the public. Good work." Half the team piled into an SUV to go alert all sources while the rest stayed and stared at the video feed, waiting for a change.

**I really hope you guys like it so far! Please review! Thanks so much! 3**

**Nicole, xoxo**


	4. It Gets Worse

***OC P.O.V***

My eyes were so heavy. I just couldn't sleep, though. Imagining the man trying to comfort me if I had a nightmare sickened me. I had no idea what time it was but I heard him moving around upstairs. Within a few minutes, he came down with food.

"Ahh, good morning my sweet. Did you sleep well?" he smiled that smile walking towards me with the food. I didn't answer. He frowned at this for a moment, but continued to walk towards me.

"I hope you like pancakes." he smiled. He grabbed his chair and sat in front of me.

"Thank you. I can feed myself though." His frown reappeared.

"Nonsense. I will feed you." he said, a bit more aggressive this time. I knew he was going to hurt me when I refused again, but I wasn't going to be humiliated like this in front of my team.

"No, really. It's okay. I can do it myself." He stopped. Sudden rage grew in his eyes and he slammed the plate down to the floor.

"If you're going to be ungrateful about it, you get nothing. You selfish bitch!" Another slap to the face. I had to admit I was all too used to this. I felt bad for the team, being forced to watch everything. They probably felt a lot worse than they needed to.

He stormed up the stairs leaving the broken glass shattered on the floor. I had no idea when he'd be back, but I knew I was pushing my limits. I really needed to take it down a notch. It wasn't fair to torture the team like that. My family.

Again like last night, I stared at the camera to say I was sorry. None of this was fair to them and I wanted to know they knew that. My stomach growled. _Great _I thought. Suddenly, I heard the door again.

"I'm sorry about that sweetie. I lose my temper sometimes." He sweeped up the mess and took it upstairs.

I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. This man was truly obsessed. The next thing he came down stairs with was a bottle of water. I wasn't going to fight this one. I was thirsty as hell.

"I hope you don't plan on drinking by yourself too." I didn't answer, which he took as a 'no'. I was glad he did. I gulped half the water bottle down in a minute's time.

"Are you finished?" he asked politely. I nodded, staring into his eyes.

"Good girl" he smiled. He kissed my cheek and traced my neck with his fingers.

"So beautiful." he whispered into my ear. I turned away. I didn't have a choice. I couldn't do this anymore.

"Ughh! Someone needs to learn some manners!" he backhanded me harshly and in my head I could hear the team's gasp. He hurried upstairs and I knew things wouldn't be good. I still refused to cry though. I couldn't let my team see me like that.

When he came back, I knew I made a mistake by refusing him. He carried a switchblade. I couldn't imagine the team now. He walked towards me angrily. He held the blade to my neck.

"Do you really want me to have to kill you in front of your friends? Is that what you want?!" he screamed. I didn't answer.

"Answer the damn question!" he yelled, not hesitating to put pressure on the blade.

"No" I whispered in defeat.

"That's what I thought. Stop being a bitch and cooperate. You don't have to pretend anymore!" he was still very angry and slid the blade up to my face instead. I closed my eyes and as I did, he slashed fast against my face. The blood poured down and spilled on my dark t-shirt and a few drips dropped to cover my gray sweats. He stared at me, a hint of regret in his eyes, and walked back upstairs.

I never expected him to get this aggressive. I really needed to watch the things I said and I how I reacted to his advances or the team would not find me alive if they ever found me at all.

***Third Person***

The half of the team that left to alert the media came back and rushed inside.

"Is there anything new?" Prentiss asked hopeful, but worried.

"We've come to the conclusion that this man is in fact delusional and has whole-heartedley convinced himself that Nicole is his soul mate." Derek answered

"I know he's a freak, but how did you come to that? Garcia asked the strong man standing in front of her.

He paused for a moment and looked around, not knowing if he should tell her.

"Derek Morgan you tell me this instant what's going on!" He sighed, but surrendered.

"Take a look for yourself" As he said this, a path was cleared to the monitors where Reid was sitting and Hotch stood by. Those who were gone headed over to take a look at what they missed. They knew it was bad considering Hotch's pacing and Derek's internal debate of whether to tell the tech analyst or not.

Garcia gasped, while Rossi held his forehead in frustration.

"What the hell happened?" Rossi asked, frustration and anger building.

"He cooked her breakfast and she didn't want him to feed her and pushed him to let her feed herself. He refused and slammed the dish on the floor, only to clean it up minutes later saying he was sorry. That was just the begin-" Hotch tried to explain before he was cut off.

"Why the hell would she do that?" he asked angrily.

"It was probably a pride thing considering she knows we're watching and everything. Rossi, are you alright?" Reid asked, speaking in his quickened tone.

"I'm sorry, I'm fine. What else happened?" he began to cool off and was ready to hear the rest.

"He brought her down a water bottle and she refused to fight this time because she was so thirsty and dehydrated. After she drank it, he kissed her neck and -" Derek couldn't finish.

'She turned away and he threatened to kill on camera. He asked if that was what she wanted and she accepted defeat and told him she didn't want that. I suppose he decided she still needed to be punished and slit her face as opposed to her neck. We were very lucky." Hotch said in his ever-serious tone.

"That's not the word I would use" Derek said under his breath, walking away.

Hotch chased after the man who stepped outside.

"Derek you need to set aside your pride if you want us to find her alive!" He shouted officially

"I just can't! Everyone tells me it's not my fault when it clearly is! I can't stand to see this happen to her because of me and know she's helpless." Derek fumed

"You can't change the past. She's going to be okay if you calm down. The team is affected greatly too. She's not helpless. She's a profiler. She's smart. She's going to be okay." Hotch stared at him with dark eyes and turned to walk away. Derek soon followed suit.

When he did so, he was sad to see that blood was still dripping out of her cheek and Garcia was crying.

"I'm sorry. I'm ready to work." he said placing a hand on Penelope's shoulder.

"What can I do?" Derek asked looking around, specifically at Hotch.

"Nothing yet. We can only wait and watch." The leader answered serious as ever.

Derek swallowed hard and fixed his eyes at the screens. He was afraid of that.

**Okay guys! I can't stress enough how much I want reviews! Lol thanks for reading! :D**

**Nicole, xoxo**


	5. Attention Seeking

***Third Person***

"Garcia, has there been any recent purchases on this guy? Any kind of paper trail to go off of?" Hotch asked, desperate for something.

"Sorry, Sir, but there's nothing. Absolutely nothing at this moment." Garcia frowned and rubbed her head. She never knew how stressful the field could be, especially when it concerned one of her own.

"Uh, Sir, we might have something." JJ called, covering the speaker on her phone.

"Okay, thank you very much. We'll be there shortly." she finished the call.

"What was that about?" Hotch asked urgently.

"We got a hit on the tip-line. Someone said they saw a man of his description about half an hour away." JJ said smiling

"Alright, Reid, Rossi, and Garcia stay here and keep watch on the feed to make sure nothing new comes up."

"Hello?" JJ asked into her newly ringing cell phone.

"Wait, are you sure? Umm, okay be there soon. Thanks." she said confused

"Who was that?" Reid asked staring at her expression.

"Someone reported the same thing, 20 minutes the other way..." The team all stared at Hotch, waiting for a decision.

"Alright, change of plans. Reid and Garcia, stay here. JJ stay with Morgan and myself - we'll go to the location 30 minutes away, and Rossi and Prentiss, you head to the other location. Do we have the addresses JJ?" Hotch asked authoritatively.

"Sent to your phones. We'll see you guys when we get back." The members headed out, leaving Garcia and Reid to watch the feed.

"What do you make of this, Boy Genius?" Garcia asked curiously

"I'm not sure. Something seems off." he leaned back in his chair fidgeting with pencil.

"Wait, what are you saying? The calls are fake?" Garcia asked, seeming slightly alarmed.

"Maybe. But if they aren't, it isn't worth the risk. I just hope Drummer isn't involved in any way. I'd rather it'd be just some kids than for him to be involved, that is if the calls aren't real, although one of them has to be fake." Reid spun around in his chair once, then fixed his eyes on the screen.

Ten minutes passed with no obvious action, but the poor agent seemed to be drifting off. She hung her head and both Garcia and Reid felt a wave of relief that she was able to get rest. Reid didn't feel relief for long though with his new-found knowledge about her sleep problems, specifically the nightmares. He knew in that moment exactly why she had been putting off sleep for as long as she had and he felt compassion. He knew exactly what that felt like.

"Reid, what's wrong?" Garcia asked staring at the young genius obviously in deep thought as he stared at the screen.

"Nothing...it's nothing." he faked a smile and continued watching for anything. Minutes later the his cell phone rang.

"Rossi? What happened?" he asked frantically standing up and walking across the room.

"The family at the address had no idea what what was going on or even who the man was. They had been on vacation the entire past week and hadn't heard the news. Police now suspect it was some damn kid looking for attention. I'm getting tired of this running around to be honest." With that said, he hung up.

"What is it, Reid?" Garcia asked. Reid paused a moment before closing his cell phone and turning around to face Garcia.

"It was just some prank. A kid looking for attention they suspect." Garcia watched as all the emotion flooded out of the young man in front of her.

"I'm so sorry." she said.

"Maybe better luck at the next address." Again he faked a smile and took back his seat next to the spunky, tech-savvy female. She rubbed his back for a moment - a friendly offering of her full support.

"Is there something else on your mind?" Garcia asked concerned. He stared at her in shock.

"Why the hell would there be anything else on my mind other than finding her!?" he shouted. Immediately he knew he made a mistake. He never meant to yell at Penelope.

"Penelope, I'm sorry. I-I'm just stressed. I really need to find her." she turned to look at him and the sadness in his eyes.

"You...you like her don't you? You don't want her to go without saying goodbye and being able to tell her that." Garcia's words were serious, very unlike her, but it was a serious topic.

"Since when did you become the profiler?" he asked in a hushed tone and they both shared a quick laugh before all seriousness returned when Reid's phone rang again.

"Hotch?" he asked into the phone anxiously.

"No, sorry, Kid. It's Morgan. There's nothing here. It's an abandoned place that hasn't been used for years after a fire. We checked every inch - there's nothing. I'm sorry." Morgan said just as frustrated as Rossi.

"Me too." Spencer hung up and walked back to Garcia.

"That one was bogus too?" she asked. Before he could answer, he broke down immediately and Garcia held him tight. She'd never seen him like this. The team was falling apart. They had to find her soon or there'd be nothing left.

"We're gonna find her. It's gonna be okay." Garcia said her voice breaking as she teared up, rubbing the man's back. The two composed themselves before the team came back so they didn't get the 'Hotch treatment'.

"Well that was a fantastic waste of time." Morgan fumed storming into the home.

"We had to go. There was a chance she was there. I don't know about you, but even if there was a 1% chance she was at either location, I would have been gone in a heartbeat." Hotch said aggressively walking past the man towards Reid and Garcia.

"What's going on? Why is she breathing so heavily?" Hotch asked, noticing the obvious distress.

"She's having a nightmare. That's my best guess. I knew this would happen. That's why she didn't want to sleep." Reid said, staring in fear. She began shouting "No" in pure agony. It was heartbreaking for the entire team and a few looked away. Her screams were blood-curdling. The team practically froze. Soon, the man appeared on the screens, rushing towards her. He hugged her tight to his chest and whispered things to her hoping to ease her out of the dream.

"It's okay, baby. You're okay, baby. I'm here. I love you." The words out of Drummer's mouth enraged everyone. After a few moments, she opened her eyes and was covered in sweat.

"There, it's okay. It's all better." he kissed her cheek. She knew at this point, she couldn't refuse his advances if she wanted to live. Seeing her not show any signs of discontent, he moved his lips to hers. She shut her eyes tightly and didn't fight. Reid looked away first and Morgan slammed a fist as one might expect from him. As his hand touched her thigh, Hotch refused to watch anymore.

"C-can I have some water?" she said breaking off the lip-locking. He nodded and headed upstairs to comply to her demands.

"She's smart. She's figured out his game. God bless that kid." Rossi said admiring her choice. The team felt comfortable enough to continue watching.

He came down with the water bottle she started earlier and held it to her lips as she finished it off.

"All better?" he asked smiling at her cooperation. She nodded.

"Hungry?" he asked her pushing his limits considering after what happened the last time. Again she nodded.

"Anything in particular you want?" she shook her head.

"Just no fish or seafood if that's okay." he nodded and headed upstairs. When he came back down, they watched her give in and let him feed her malnourished body. He definitely seemed a lot happier and calmer at this. She knew what she had to do and she was going to do it for their sake.

"At least she's not fighting anymore. She'll stay in a lot better condition if she keeps it up. I'm just afraid of how far he'll try to push her because I know she'll retaliate and at that point...well I wouldn't blame her." Hotch said proud of her like Rossi.

"Still no tears. I'm just afraid she's going to break and give up. We'll lose her for good." Prentiss said gloomily.

"She won't. I know my girl. She's not selfish like that." As Morgan spoke, the team understood what he meant.

She wasn't fighting for herself primarily. The team was her top priority. She was fighting for the team. In that moment they knew: they would never stop fighting for her, no matter how long it took.


	6. Tying Up Loose Ends

*Third Person*

"Wait, is he coming back down?" Derek asked on high alert.

"Sounds like it." Reid said eyes intent on the screen.

"Is there anything else you need, sweetie?" Drummer asked the disheveled young woman.

"Is it possible I could get a shower and maybe brush my teeth and everything?" she asked slowly and avoided most eye contact.

The team looked back and forth at one another worriedly.

Drummer walked over and cupped her cheek, bending to her level.

"Of course, sweetie." he smiled and un-cuffed her and led her upstairs.

"What's going on?" JJ asked confused. "Why is he agreeing to this?" she questioned the skilled team.

"He thinks she's finally on the same page with the idea of a relationship. She hasn't been fighting back. That's exactly what he wanted." Hotch explained.

"As soon as he un-cuffed her, why didn't she fight? She could totally take him!" Garcia wondered.

"She's building a trust with this guy. She knows we have no idea where she is yet and she could easily end up dying in a fight." Rossi answered.

"She might be strong but this man's a psychopath. She's not taking any chances." Derek clarified.

When she finally came back down, she was dressed in a low-cut sundress and her hair was dried and brushed neatly. Her legs also looked newly shaved although they weren't visible before in her sweats. He handcuffed her once again and knelt to be eye-level with her.

"Anything else, sweetie?" he asked her sweetly.

"Umm...listen. In order to get closer to you and to really be with you, I- I need to let go of the people around me. That includes me team." The man stared at her, not yet sure of what she was requesting.

The team looked back at each other fearfully.

"S-she's not giving up, is she?" Garcia asked alarmed.

"I-I don't think so. She has a plan." Reid said although he didn't sound convinced.

"What are you talking about baby?" the man asked a hand on her knee. It took every ounce of strength she had to not cringe at the touch.

"I mean can I be alone for a while to say my goodbyes to them and sort of tie up loose ends so I can be more dedicated to you?" the man smiled at the way she said it.

"Of course. Take your time." Drummer smiled and kissed her lips before heading upstairs out of the room.

She turned her attention to the camera and shifted her body to face it.

"Uh, hi guys. I don't know if or-or when you might find me, but if you don't, I owe you a proper goodbye. I love you guys and I can't strip you of that. Please...I completely understand how stressed you are and I'm so sorry for doing that to all of you. I'm going to give you all individual goodbye stuff, but I want you all there anyway. Please, just stay until the end. Please." Garcia held her head as she spoke, trying to hold back the tears already.

"Pen, it's gonna be okay." Derek said, although he was also holding back tears. Rossi set a hand on the man's shoulders.

"I guess I'll start with you, JJ. You're such a sweet, beautiful girl. Please, please don't ever think your job doesn't matter as much. I envied you for being able to do what you do. You're so level-headed and calm when you present to the media and that means so much for the team. Your job is so important and you're just...just so good at it. You mean as much to this team as anyone else and I want you to know that. Stay beautiful." JJ took a seat and began to cry, but muffled her cries trying not to be too loud so that the rest of the team couldn't hear what had to be said.

"Continuing with ladies, Emily. I want you to know I really admire you for you bravery. You're so strong, especially with all you've seen in the field. I mean from the time I've been with you, I can't remember you ever crying. I never knew how you did that, but I did what I could to take after the model you set. I really hope you find someone who deserves you, because you deserve that. I just really want you to be happy. Stay strong, Emily. You're truly amazing." Emily stood motionless not knowing what to say. Hotch placed a hand on her shoulder which was very comforting.

"Penelope. Where do I start?" That was all it took for Garcia to waterfall.

"You are so freaking beautiful and I have to admit I never got over that. I always was jealous of how smart you are and just how confident. You're witty and your style is beyond amazing. I really wish I hugged you more and told you that kind of stuff. It's so true. You and your computers always help solve each and every case and without you, we'd be lost. I was really lucky to have met you. Thank you so much for being you. And thank you for keeping Derek in line. That was always a struggle, but you certainly handled yourself. Thank you, Penelope. Stay you, please." Garcia threw herself at Derek who held her tightly. It almost sent him over the edge just by the mention of his name.

"Rossi. I've got to admit, I've always liked you. You're a good man and you're quite funny too. You're a really good profiler, too. Even though you call me kid, like Derek does every now and again, I like it. I want you to know that you're a really talented writer. I always thought I had a bit of talent in that area, but you shattered that with your writings. And I want you to know I'm perfectly okay with that. I'm actually really proud of you. I know you tried to look after me and help me whenever you could and I appreciate that more than anything. God, Dave, thank you so much. Stay a writer and profiler, please. It's definitely your strong suit." Dave smiled brightly.

"I'm the one who's proud of you, Kid." he said shedding a tear, just wishing she could hear him.

"Aaron. To be honest I never thought you liked me all that much, but it doesn't matter. I seriously can't blame you for that. I've always had a deep-rooted respect for you Aaron, even if I was kind of afraid of you a good amount of the time" she took a minute to swallow hard just as Hotch did. "I hoped you never minded me calling you that. Damn, I never even considered asking you. I'm so sorry for that. I want you to know I'm also really proud of you. You're the greatest boss and leader I've ever seen and you're a really good man, too. Thank you being such a good man. I know you've been through a lot...but don't be afraid to lean on the team for support. Thank you for being as strong as you are, even when you have every right to fall apart. You're a good man, Aaron. Sir. Stay that way." Aaron turned away and held his head, trying not to cry in front of the team.

"...D-Derek." she was getting to the end of her emotional strength, but held herself together. "I know for a fact right now that you're...you're blaming yourself. I'm here to say don't although I'm sure you've heard that a lot already. I made everything out as a joke just as much as you. It doesn't matter anymore. We can't change that. And if you don't find me...just please don't waste too much of your time on this okay?"

"It's not a waste!" he screamed at the screen. Hotch had to hold him back with the help of Rossi. "It's not a waste." he said in a calmer tone, his voice breaking on the verge of tears.

"If I do get out of this, and get to see you again, I want you to know I expect the biggest hug ever. I mean that. And every day I want them to keep coming. But like I said...don't dwell on this. It's okay. You're my best friend and always have been. You've picked on me and I've picked on you and it just works. You protect me. You always have and I want you to know that nothing's changed. I'll never see you any different than I do now. Please, stop blaming yourself. You don't deserve that. I love you, Derek. Stay strong and don't stay guilty. Just stay hopeful. Please." Derek collapsed into Hotch. He couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Last but...farthest from least, Spencer. First before I tell you something that's really important to me and that I've...well that I've kept a secret for a really long time, I want to tell you to never ever stop using that beautiful brain of yours. It's one of the things I love most about you. If I never get to see you again, I need you to promise me something: Everyday, no matter who you tell or where you are, I want you to say at least one seemingly random fact, or quote, or statistic. I don't care if you have to talk aloud to yourself. Please, just do that for me. Don't ever stop being your dorky self. That's another one of the best parts of you. I need you to know something now. It's...something I never told anyone but I figure I might not get out of this and something inside me is dying for you to know." Garcia took Spencer's hand.

"Spencer...I just...from the first day I met you...from the first statistic you spoke, I fell in love with you. I'm not telling you this because I want to guilt trip you into feeling the same way. I know because of this confession I probably will be transferred to another team and if that's the case...don't bother. I'd rather have no job at all than to be separated from my family like that. I'm sorry, but I had to say it. I love you Spencer. Stay smart and just stay you."

"Guys I love you all just so much and like I said...it's none of your faults. If you don't find me and if you don't find me in time, it's okay. I don't blame any of you. Don't let it eat you up. If another case comes up, put that first. It's okay. Just know I'm sorry." With that she turned away from the camera.

Spencer cried, but it wasn't just because of what she said to him.

"Spence, I'm sorry." Garcia said touching his shoulder.

"No, no...it's not just that. Her use of the word 'stay'...She told you to stay beautiful, you to stay strong, you to stay you, you to stay a writer and profiler, you to stay a good man, Derek she told you to stay hopeful, and me to stay smart. She wanted us to stay just as we are...she also wants us to stay where we are. She doesn't believe she's worth our time." Spencer said, guilt coating his voice.

"Damn it!" Derek slammed his fists on the table.

"She thought she was tying up loose ends...but I think she untied more than she could have imagined." Rossi speculated.

The team sat speechless, motionless, without a clue.

**I know this was a different kind of chapter but I hope you like it. I'm BEGGING to you review! I'd love some feedback about what you liked, what you didn't, possible suggestions, anything! Thank youu! If you anyone who likes CM it would be much appreciated for you to maybe ask them to give it a read. I just really would like a lot of different feedback so I can grow! Thanks! :D**

**Nicole, xoxo**


	7. A Plan?

***OC POV***

Jake came down about 20 minutes after I finished talking to the team. I couldn't imagine how they felt about it.

"You okay, baby?" he asked, walking towards me to kiss my cheek and hold my hands. I nodded.

"I'm a little thirsty and a bit hungry, but I'm okay thanks." I faked a smile, but it was obvious he took it as genuine.

"You want something to eat and something to drink, then?" I nodded smiling. He leaned in to kiss my lips. I wanted to throw up, but I had to play along. I told the team they didn't need to find me...but I really wished they would. I had an idea in mind, but it would be a close call. I might end up dying in the process and I'm not so sure I was up for that tonight and neither was the team. Plus it probably wouldn't work because I needed his permission for something.

He came down not too much later and fed me and allowed me to drink.

"Thank you." I smiled.

"Goodnight, baby. I love you." Again Drummer felt the need to kiss my lips. I couldn't tell you how much i wanted to spit in his face. He left upstairs for the night, leaving the light on for me.

***Third Person***

"If I see him kiss her again with that vile mouth of his I'm going to lose it." Derek said frustrated.

"At least now we know how she felt about all of us at this point." Hotch said. It wasn't like him to bring up emotional topics as such, but this was a side of him the team was glad to see.

"She likes you back, Sport." Garcia whispered to Reid, nudging him in the ribs. He smiled but it soon faded.

"What's wrong?" Garcia asked, the smile wiped off her face.

"I-I just hope we find her. That's all. She's gone through more than I could ever imagine." He stared blankly at the screens, coated in sadness.

"I never knew she read my stuff...and she actually liked it. That kid is full of surprises." Rossi chuckled slightly, astonished at this new information.

"Kid. That's the saddest part. She's just so young for this." Garcia shook her head disappointed with the entire situation.

"You don't think she's afraid to cry in front of us...do you? Reid asked quietly.

"I don't understand why she would be." Hotch said confused at the allegation.

"I do. She wants to show you she's still strong. That she can handle herself. We've got a lot of strong men and women on this team. She doesn't want to look weak." JJ said understanding. She was very compassionate.

"But we're her friends." Derek said, shocked at by what JJ had to say. He didn't like how much sense that made. He felt bad for her, especially because he was supposed to protect her and so far - he wasn't doing a very good job.

"We're also really intimidating. You heard her say how she was so proud and jealous of our unique skills and talents. She feels like she doesn't belong and never wanted us to think as less of her than she might have thought we already did or how we should have in her eyes. That's why she didn't want to cry and still continues to fight back the tears. She's a lot stronger than any of us could've given her credit for." JJ explained further.

"I can't believe she thought I didn't like her. Those under my watch should never feel that way. Damn it." Hotch said his frustration also escalating.

"Don't take it personally, Hotch." Emily urged, touching his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, but I have no other choice but to take it personally. Did she really think I cared that she called me 'Aaron' instead? The second we get her back, I'm making that clear. Thinking back now, I wished I hugged her more too..." He trailed off into his thoughts.

"Me too. I mean I think we all do. We knew she was a hugger but we always thought we'd have her forever. Now all that's left is regret." Rossi chimed in.

"A lot's gonna change when we get her back. Everything." Derek said looking back on what he regretted while she was still with the team.

"How are we going to find her when we don't have anything on this guy's location?" Reid asked sullenly, tears forming in his eyes.

"Garcia can you do another run on him? Paper trail, anything?" Hotch asked her as he again began to pace.

"Sorry, Sir. There's nothing. But I can send an email out to all of the police stations in the area again. He's gotta leave sometime." she said, typing furiously.

"Thank you. I think we need to wrap it up for tonight. Whoever needs to stay up may and -"

"Wait, what's that? Zoom in for me please?" Reid asked the tech analyst.

"Where, oh smart one?"

"Her hands." he answered pointing.

The team squinted, looking at the small image.

"Is that...is she giving a thumbs up?" Derek asked very confused.

"Guys, I think she has a plan." Reid said very quickly and excitedly. The team all took turns hugging him for his observation skills. Hope had been restored to the team running on empty.

"You're gonna make it, Baby Girl. With this genius on hand, I'm sure we'll catch on. Rest up, baby. Stay safe." Morgan smiled even though he knew she couldn't hear him.

"Good luck, Kid." Rossi smiled.

**Okay I know this chapter is slightly shorter, but I hope you enjoyed it non-the-less! Thanks for your support and I hope to get some reviews with your honest feelings! Thanks so much for reading! Get the word out if you can! Thanks!**

**Nicole, xoxo**


	8. Executing the Plan

***OC POV***

I assumed it was again morning when I heard the man moving upstairs, but I had no idea. I didn't even know when he left me alone. I hoped the team noticed my hand gesture last night, but if they didn't, I guess it wouldn't matter too much. I also knew there was a good chance he would kill me before they got there. I didn't know how far away we were from where they were. I hoped no longer than twenty minutes. If it was longer than that, I'd probably be dead.

It really scared me I had to admit, but I'd be dying for them. That was something I was willing to do. But it did scare the hell out of me to think about how they might deal with it. I mostly feared for Derek because he did care so much, but also for Garcia because she was quite emotional. I'm sure they'd get over it sooner or later, but I still didn't want them to have to feel any ounce of pain.

I could hear him coming downstairs and erased my anxiety for the moment.

"Good morning, Beautiful. Waffles, okay?" I nodded and allowed him to feed me. I really did feel humiliated, but I wasn't going to get him angry just yet. He deserved to be treated better if I wanted to even have a chance at survival. He wasn't a good judge of character though. I found it remarkable that his delusion was so strong that he couldn't see through my lying mouth and actions. I was lucky because of that, though.

"Water?" he asked after I finished eating. "Do you want to drink it yourself?" he asked walking up the stairs.

"If you don't mind that'd be a nice change." I said, my voice slightly shaken. I wasn't sure of what he wanted me to say or if he cared what I did say.

"It's fine, baby. I understand. Your wrists must be a little sore by now, huh?" he un-cuffed me gently. My wrists were raw and scabbed over in some places from being cut open at some point in my struggle. He rubbed them, but I winced due to the pain.

"Sorry, sweetie. They'll be better soon. I promise." he placed a gentle kiss on each one and handed me the water bottle.

"Thank you." I smiled and drank about half the bottle again.

"All done? Anything else you need or want?" he asked politely as ever.

"Is it too much to ask for a shower and to brush my teeth and everything? I'm sorry I just take a shower everyday usually." he just laughed and started to walk up the stairs.

"Of course! Come on! What are you waiting for?" I followed him up the stairs and looked around for anything to tell me where I was. Alas, I found nothing. I told myself I was going to have to risk it. I would fend him off for as long as I could and hope it would be enough. After I finished beautifying myself which included brushing my hair after my shower and brushing my teeth, I headed back downstairs. I felt awkward wearing another low cut dress he gave me, but they were cute. I just didn't like the attachment. This one was white. It figured. IT wouldn't be white for much longer though. I knew that.

It was time. I didn't want to be here any longer than I had to.

"Umm Jake you know how I requested to speak to the team yesterday so I could be more dedicated to you? Well there are two people left I need to do that with, but with one call I can be done with people who used to be in my life and just have you. Is that okay?" he seemed to think it over for a minute, but nodded and grabbed a cell phone. _Yes_. I thought to myself happily. He tossed it to me and I caught it with grace.

"Just don't be too long. I really want you sweetie." he gave a wicked grin before heading up the stairs and I hoped the team was close because I was not going to let him rape me. I would fight back. Either they would get there in time or I'd die trying to give them time.

I quickly dialed Morgan's cell phone. It was the only one I knew by heart besides my own.

"Hello?" asked the man frantically. I guess he wasn't staring at the screen.

"Hey" I said, pure elation in my voice.

"Baby Girl! I am so sorry for everything! Are you okay?" he asked eagerly.

"I'm fine I'm fine. How about you guys? And Garcia's doing her 'job' right now, correct?" I asked hoping he got the memo.

"We're going to be a lot better when we get you home. And Of course she's working her magic over there." I could feel Derek smiling over the phone.

"So...how long? And I am on speaker over there?" I tried to put a normal amount of pep into my voice and to make my questions as normal as possible in case he was listening in.

"She's getting it now...about 25 minutes! Yes, sweetie you are. Hope you're not too upset about that." Derek was in pure happiness. I don't know if he even realized I wasn't home free just yet.

"You're heading out soon right? I think I might be able to make it, but we never know about these types of things." I emphasized soon hoping he would catch my drift.

"On our way. You're going to be okay. Garcia's staying behind to keep watching and she'll give us updates." I suddenly heard the man. He must've walking towards the door. My heart skipped so many beats in that moment.

"Okay sounds good. I've got to go now okay? I love you very much! Goodbye." I said cheerfully hanging up the phone.

***Third Person***

****"Damn. She hung up." Derek said, slamming his phone closed. "We need to drive faster, Hotch. If I know my girl, and I do, things are going to get ugly real soon."

Hotch jammed on the pedal, but it didn't make much of difference as Spencer pointed out before hand.

"Call Garcia." Hotch said seriously. Morgan dialed quickly and got an immediate answer.

"Pen tell me she's okay." Derek said sounding almost as serious as Hotch.

"She's okay for now...eww. That's gross." Garcia answered being her usual self.

"What? What Garcia?" Derek was frantic as hell.

" He just walked over to her and basically raped her mouth with his. You need to get there soon before I throw up and she does too."

"Make sure you tell me everything. We've got slightly less than twenty minutes." the panic was evident in his voice.

"I've got you babe. He's making out with her pretty grossly...he's kissing her neck. Moved back up to her mouth." Garcia narrated.

"Alright now I'm going to be sick."

"You asked. Oh God. His hand is moving up her thigh. That is a big no no. I don't think she can take much more before fists start flying, Derek. How much longer?"

"About 15 minutes it looks like." he said still panicked.

"Uh-oh! Things just got ugly!"

"What, Garcia?!" he asked desperately afraid.

"He moved a little too high up her thigh and she screamed no and he isn't happy. Ooh that will hurt in the morning if you live..."

"Who?" Derek was practically hyperventilating and put her on speaker like he really should have earlier.

"Him. She kneed him in the groin pretty hard. It's getting bad, Derek. Oh my God. No. No. No!" Garcia shouted.

"What?!" Everyone in the car asked.

"Oh my God! It's...he had a knife...she's hit in the side pretty hard." Garcia cried.

"He stabbed her?" Hotch asked surprised.

"Yes unfortunately. Okay this is getting really bad for our girl! Faster you guys! He slammed her head against the concrete wall. She..she seems disoriented."

"Damn it!" Derek shouted. Hotch hit the steering wheel harshly.

"He's picking her up...about halfway up the stairs...oh that is no good for either one of them."

"Garcia..." Reid said pushing her to elaborate.

"Well she wiggled out of his grip, they both tumbled down the stairs and are kind of really motionless right now...oh my God this is just so bad. Time you guys?"

"Five minutes. No longer." Reid said his voice obviously panicked. A minute passed with silence from Garcia.

"Garcia...what's wrong?" Hotch asked authoritatively.

"No movement...wait, wait! They're both moving, him so more than her though. He's picking her up...they're upstairs. But before they left my view she was still wiggling. Just hurry." her voice was on the verge of tears. It looked bad for their girl. Very, very bad.

"One minute. Is that enough time, Garcia?" Reid asked quickly.

"I sure hope so..." her voice trailed off.

The location was in view and before the car stopped completely, Derek was out of the vehicle. He kicked down the door, not bothering to wait for an answer. They didn't have that kind of time.

"Where the hell is she?" he asked not wanting to waste any time.

"Give me a second...shhh. Water. Splashing water. He's probably drowning her." Reid said after listening intently.

They followed Reid towards the sound which they were too concerned and stressed to hear. The second Derek walked into the bathroom, his instinct kicked in and he shot the man in the head. He fell over the side of the bath tub in which he was indeed drowning her. Derek rushed towards the tub, throwing his gun in his holster.

"Baby, baby girl?" She didn't move. He moved her body to an empty space on the floor.

"Medics!" Hotch called angrily.

Derek lay his head on her chest. No heartbeat. No breathing. She was gone.

"No. No." he immediately pressed on her chest in hopes to start her heart and breathed into her.

"Come on. Don't leave me. Don't leave me." he pleaded, never stopping his work on her. Hotch rushed to get the medics who always seemed to be tardy.

Spencer took a spot opposite Derek did the work of breathing into her while he took her heart.

"Come on. Don't you dare leave me!" he said so overwhelmed with sadness and fear and anger.

Just as the medics rushed into the room, her head move the slightest of an inch and she began to cough up all of the water she had breathed in.

"Oh, Baby Girl, it's okay, it's okay." he held her and she held him, but she soon found herself too weak to hug any more. He pulled back to see the blood smothering the white dress she wore and all over his shirt.

"She needs a hospital now. Now!" he shouted, helping get her on the stretcher.

"D-Derek..." she sputtered, blood coming out of her mouth.

"It's okay I'm here. I'm here."

"S-send someone...send someone...w-with me for the...ride..." that was all she get out. The last thing she saw was his nodding and his smile at hers.

If she had to die...she'd be okay with that. As far as she was concerned, the team succeeded. They won. That would be enough for her.

**PLEASE REVIEW! I'm desperate for the feedback! Really hope you like it so far! :D **

**Nicole, xoxo**


	9. The Aftermath

***Third Person***

When the team arrived at the hospital, joining Spencer who was riding in the ambulance with her and was waiting for the rest of the team, they had a mutual understanding it may take a while for her to be okay if she was going to be okay. They took a seat and relaxed slightly.

"She did it. The Kid did it." Rossi said reflecting and smiling.

"She did. I'm proud of her. I never knew how much she had in her." Hotch said thinking along the same lines as Rossi did.

"...she died. She was dead in my arms." Derek said out loud although seemingly to himself.

"But she's back. She's beat death. She's going to be okay now." Spencer said hopefully.

"I just can't get out of my head how much blood there was." Derek said astonished at the memory.

"Okay one, spare me the details, and two...she died?" Garcia asked surprised.

"For about a minute's time. But we brought her back." Spencer said touching Derek's shoulder.

"That's gotta be a huge burden to bear." Prentiss said shaking her head. The team looked up at her in confusion.

"What do you mean?" JJ asked taking a seat across from her.

"Well I mean she died, not to mention it was an excruciating way to go, but she came back. She went through all the pain of dying and has to live knowing she's going to go through it at least one more time in her life. That can't be easy." she explained.

"Drowning is one the worst ways to die. The victim feels their lungs filling with water while their body craves oxygen and there's nothing they can do by try and fight until their muscles can't function due to the lack of oxygen and then suffer." Spencer said looking at the medical side of things. The team sat in silence for the next moments.

"I hope it's not too long. I don't know how long we can all last out here together." JJ said with a small chuckle. Hotch rubbed her back.

"You all need to get some rest. Take it easy. She's going to be fine." Hotch assured seeing his team so worn down and stressed.

"He's right. We need to sleep. We've been up almost the entire time she was...gone." Derek said clearing his throat at the last word. He took a seat and relaxed. The rest of the team followed his lead. Hotch watched as they all seemed to be out of it in seconds. They were much too exhausted. Hotch took one last glance at his sleeping team, and closed his eyes as well.

Hotch was the first to open his eyes at 7:45 AM the next morning. Again he glanced around to observe the sleeping team. They truly were a family. He turned his gaze to look at Derek Morgan. He looked peaceful, yet still so on guard. Young Doctor Reid was similar as well. He looked innocent and calm, but he was obviously not at rest.

"Umm, Sir? Are you all here for the young agent who was brought in the other day?" Hotch looked up wondering how long she had been trying to get his attention before he acknowledged her.

"I'm sorry, yes. Is she alright? Can we see her?" The nurse smiled as Hotch stood and shook her hand.

"She is stable now and she began to wake a few moments ago. At the end of the hallway, take a left, she's the first door on the right." she smiled and headed back to her duties. Hotch walked to each member of the team and shook them gently.

"She's okay. We can see her now." Hotch smiled as each of the member's once sleepy faces lit up.

They walked down the hallway slowly, only because Hotch made them. Once they entered the room, the paused. The team stopped staring at the bruised and beaten teammate, all except for Derek who rushed to her side. Slowly she opened her eyes as she felt his hand in hers. She smiled, gaining a smile from him in return.

"Hey" she said her voice slightly rough and sleepy.

"Awwh, Baby Girl!" Derek cried, wrapping her in a hug. She couldn't say she didn't enjoy it, but all she could express was her physical pain.

"I-I'm sorry. Two cracked ribs, concussion, bruises everywhere, stab wound..." she trailed off chuckling at how unreal it all sounded.

"Oh I'm sorry..." he traced her bruised cheek with his thumb.

"Trust me. When I'm better and I mean not just out of here - I mean all better, you're all getting insanely big hugs that last for awkward lengths of time and seem to go on forever, I promise." she laughed again and so did everyone else. "It's no negotiable."

"That's my girl." Derek laughed

"How are you feeling?" Hotch asked in a friendly, soothing voice. That was quite unexpected.

"I'm okay, especially now that you guys are here. My head kind of hurts, and so does my face, and...okay a lot hurts, but it's okay. I'm just glad you guys are here." she smiled and it was genuine. She leaned towards Derek casually.

"Don't let go...okay?" she whispered, glancing down to his hand in hers. He nodded sympathetically and kissed her head, holding it to his chest. There was a long silence and then they heard the sound. The young agent who had stayed strong the entire time began to sob into her protector. Everyone looked on sullenly.

"I-I'm so sorry. I-I just thought I'd never see you guys again..." she cried. "I'm so sorry." she whispered, her voice breaking.

"It's okay. I needed to make sure you knew something, though" Hotch spoke. Derek stared at him cautiously, trying to urge him it wasn't the right time.

"I-I need to tell you...You said you didn't think I liked you, but that's not true at all. I just want you to know I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way. I'm sorry. And I didn't mind you calling me 'Aaron' either. I'm sorry." he stood by her side opposite Derek and touched her shoulder. She motioned for him to come closer and kissed his cheek.

"I'm sorry." she whispered. He looked in her understanding eyes and nodded, then stepped back to allow another to say what they needed to. Rossi stepped forward next and took the space where Hotch stood seconds before. He took the agents other hand and smiled brightly.

"I'm proud of you, Kid. More proud of you than I've ever been of anyone else. That's something to be proud of. You're something special. Don't lose that sparkle in your eyes." he touched her cheek and kissed her hand before moving away.

"For the record, I couldn't do your job either. You deserve as much credit as me - more even." JJ chimed in from the other side of the room.

"Okay before I start up the waterworks you need a hug from your favorite tech analyst!" Garcia said bouncing over.

"Uh, Pen she's kind of injured right now..." Derek warned trying to let her down easy. She leaned over and hugged her gently and sweetly.

"I'm not trying to squeeze the life out of her at the current moment like someone else in this room I know..." The room laughed and Derek held a hand up in friendly surrender.

"Nicole...don't be afraid to cry. You are a much braver girl than I ever knew. I have eternal respect for you - the way you handled everything. It's you who's brave." Emily smiled.

She looked towards the back of the group to see the young Spencer Reid simply staring with a look of internal battle and sadness on his face. The team followed her gaze and went silent.

"I think we'll head out now, give you some space." Hotch said leading the team out, both Spencer and Derek left behind.

"Derek...do you mind if I talk to Spence for a little bit. I promise he'll keep my hand warm for you for when you get back." That made Derek smile and he nodded, kissing her forehead and patting Spencer's shoulder before walking out. There was silence and eye contact between the two for a moment.

She outstretched her arms and they both cried in a gentle hug.

"You have no idea how much I wish I could hug you tighter - even if it meant cracking the rest of my ribs. It'd be worth it." she said still holding him. He chuckled slightly.

"You will be able to soon, hopefully with the lack of cracking any ribs." they both chuckled at this.

"Do you promise?" he cocked his head

"What exactly am I promising?"

"That you'll have the biggest, tightest, longest-lasting hug waiting for me?" This cracked the young genius up.

"I promise." The smiles and laughter soon faded and there was an eerie silence between the two. Spencer took the liberty of taking Derek's seat and took her hand, just as she promised Derek he would.

"About what I said...you know before, I-I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't have the intention of embarrassing you like that, but I really thought I was going to die and it wouldn't matter. I'm so sorry, Spencer." she was so genuinely sorry and began to cry again. Spencer, like Derek, held her face to his chest and kissed her head and face.

"Shh, shh...no. Don't be sorry. I needed to hear that because...well I-I um. Garcia would be so much better at this." he laughed to himself.

"W-what is it?" she chuckled lightly.

"I...I like you too. A lot. More than a lot actually. I...I love you too." Spencer immediately broke eye contact due to his lack of confidence in the women department.

"I-Is this some kind of joke? I swear if Derek's putting you up to this I will kill that man." she was joking, but she was actually afraid he was just trying to comfort her.

"No, no I'm not joking at all." he said quickly in defense. She laughed at that. She stared at him for a while without saying a word.

"What is it?" he asked lightly.

"Is he going to fire me?" she asked seriously. He stared into her watery eyes.

"No, he wouldn't, of course-"

"Reid." She said seriously not wanting him to lie to her face.

"I-I'm sorry. I don't know. I-..." he stammered.

"It's okay. I understand. I knew the consequences. It's okay." she said calmly, although it was evident she wasn't. He looked at her, but looked away. He was never good with women, regardless of who they were.

"Spencer?" his look immediately turned back towards her.

"Can I have another hug?" she asked so innocently. A smile grew on his face and he nodded, squeezing the young agent as tightly as possible without hurting or damaging her any further.

"Thank you" she whispered thoughtfully still being held in his grasp, squeezing out a few more tears. While in the position she was in, she pecked his cheek, squeezed him one last time, and pulled back.

He smiled and took her hand.

"If you're ready, I think we can invite the team back in if they do want to come back. I know Derek's probably dying." she laughed along with him.

"He was a mess. I mean we all were, but he got the 'Hotch treatment' and hardly slept a wink." Spencer laughed, trying not to remember the pain and fear and regret they all felt before she was okay. She faked a smile and nodded. Spencer squeezed her hand and headed out to gather the team again.

Derek was the first to rush in.

"Can I try hugging you again?" she smiled and knew he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. He wasn't as gentle as she needed, but she didn't care. She wished she could hug everyone tighter too. Everyone came to her side to take their turns with the hugging and said small things. No surprise, the rest of the team had no trouble being gentle - just the overgrown Derek Morgan.

"I'm proud of you. It's good to have you back, Agent." Hotch said standing beside her. She looked him in the eyes and wrapped him in her arms.

"Not as proud as I am of each of you every single day."

The team 'aww-ed' and a few shed tears.

The only thing Spencer Reid could think of at this point was:

_If he has to fire her, I'd rather not work here either._

**Sorry it's been a day since I updated, but I had to figure a lot of dialouge in this chapter! Hope you enjoy! Please review, for I need all the suggestions and critiques and compliments to help me grow! Thanks! Love you guys! **

**Nicole, xoxo**


	10. Getting Back On Her Feet

***OC POV***

After spending a few days in the hospital for healing and for observation, I was finally allowed to leave. I was relieved that I never was alone and a member always had my hand in theirs.

"Derek either can you or someone else head back to the bullpen and go into the second drawer on the right side of my desk and grab the outfit there? Whoever you send, make sure they grab everything." I asked casually, making sure to add all the details needed.

"You keep an entire outfit in a drawer in your desk?" he laughed heartily.

"In case of emergencies I have an outfit, including shoes and hair accessories." I smiled, flashing my teeth this time.

"I'll call Rossi. I'm pretty sure he's already there filling out some paperwork." I nodded and he flipped out his cell and gave the information to the Senior Agent.

While Rossi was out doing my bidding, I talked to Derek about lighter subjects. I didn't want to bring up my job or the days to come or the past. I couldn't hide anything from him. He could see through my faked smiles and expressions.

"What's bothering you, Baby Girl?" he squeezed my hand in his.

"It's nothing. I'm okay, now." I pulled his hand, still intertwined in mine, up to my lips to kiss it. I was so happy to have him back.

"You don't have to hide from me. I'm here for you." his eyes and voice were sincere.

"I'm just...I'm scared. I don't want to go home. I won't. I mean I won't go back to that house. I hate being here, but anything's better than there. I just don't want to be alone and...I-I don't know." Again I began to break down in front of him and he held me, doing what he could to soothe me.

"It's okay, shhh. You won't be alone. You can stay at my place if you want or I'm sure Pretty Boy will be happy to take you in too. You won't be alone, I promise." he stroked my hair and held me close until he was sure I was done crying.

"Sorry. I just sometimes lose it."

"You have nothing to apologize for. You went through hell and you came back even stronger than you already were." He stroked my cheek with his thumb, wiping away the leftover tears. I couldn't help smiling.

"You called?" Rossi tapped on the door before walking in, carrying my outfit I asked for.

"Hair accessories and shoes?" I asked, not ready to congratulate and thank Rossi just yet. He lifted up his other hand in my view to show my shoes and accessories.

"I owe you big time!" I smiled, opening my arms. He laid down the goods and hugged me tightly. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and he returned the favor.

"As much as I love you both, do you mind leaving for a minute so I can put myself back together and look maybe slightly presentable?"

"Of course" Rossi smiled and heading outside. "Derek..." he called behind him, knowing the young man hadn't left yet.

"He doesn't miss a thing, does a he?" Derek laughed walking out.

I got up as quickly as possible and almost fell down. I gripped the bed and put on the outfit as quickly as possible. My ribs still killed as did my side from the stab wound, but I managed to get dressed and put my shoes on in less than 10 minutes. I was genuinely proud.

I brushed my hair, but couldn't reach back far enough to fasten my hair without busting my ribs anymore.

I walked out the door whining while the two men laughed.

"Aww, what's wrong Baby Girl?" Derek laughed, standing up to come to my side.

I pulled the hair I wanted pulled back and handed Derek the clip.

"I bet you wish you invited one of the girls now, don't you?" he laughed, fastening it.

"You know I love you, Derek. You too over there." I laughed. Soon, they were both by side and supported my weight.

"You look nice." Rossi smiled, arm around my back.

"I'm presentable, which is all I was really expecting at this point." We chuckled together stopping at the desk to sign me out.

"Shush, girl. You look amazing as ever."

"Yeah if bruises, scars, dried blood, and bandages are your thing." I shook it off. Derek stopped our motion in the middle of the parking lot and turned to face me, taking hold of my shoulders.

"You're my thing, you're our thing. All of our thing. You're perfect just the way you are, covered in battle wounds or not. We love you and always will."

I fell into his arms and soon Rossi joined in, making it a group hug.

"Kid, I'll see you soon. Don't hesitate to call." Rossi smiled, kissing my cheek before heading to his car.

"Where do you want to go?" Derek asked asked, still holding me up with his arm around my waist.

"I want to go back to the bullpen, maybe pick up a few things, see where it goes from there." I said, speaking aloud my thought process.

"Your wish is my command." he smiled, opening my door, scooping me into his arms into the seat and buckling me in"

"You know that wasn't necessary," I said as he got into his seat and buckled himself. "...but it was much appreciated." I smiled.

He started the ignition and laid his hand between us, facing up. I placed my hand on top, and we started our drive.

With the radio blasting and our small chats in between, the drive didn't seem very long at all.

Like before, he scooped me up, although this time he didn't set me down until we were in the bullpen and I forced him to, although he had to catch me when I lost my balance on my feet.

He linked arms with me and I made my way to Penelope's lair.

"Your desk is that wa-"

"Oh thanks, I forgot." I rolled my eyes and knocked on her door.

"Do you have a little time for an old friend?" I asked. She flung open the door and hugged me tightly, then lightened her grip as she remembered I wasn't better just yet.

"What are you doing here?" she asked excited.

"I'm just saying farewell to everyone for a little bit while I rest up." I smiled.

"I missed you so much!" she smiled, then began to cock her head to see the back of mine.

"Can you turn around for a sec?" she asked. I did so, although I was confused.

"Okay I know you're injured, so I can't blame you for the awful placing of this clip." That cracked me up.

"You can actually thank Derek for that one. I couldn't reach that far. Can you fix it for me?" I asked as Derek threw his hands up in friendly surrender.

"Alright, maybe I shouldn't quit my day job just yet." he laughed.

"You've got that right" Penelope said fixing my hair and giving me one last hug.

"Oh, what happened to you?" Kevin said as we ran into him walking out.

"Long story. You can ask Penelope for the deets! Bye, Kev."

Derek led me to the bullpen once again where the agents of our team were waiting to say goodbyes. I had to lend it to Garcia - she was fast.

"Agent, I want you to take as much time as you need. Don't be in a rush. I promise your spot will stay yours and if we need a little help, it will be filled, but only temporarily." Aaron held out his hand for a farewell handshake.

"After all this, you're still going for the handshake?" I laughed, throwing my arms around his neck. He laughed a laugh I had never heard from him and hugged me too.

"I'll miss you" JJ said cupping my cheek to trace a bruise with her thumb and then going for a hug.

"I'll miss you too" I smiled, walking towards Emily.

"Please get better soon. No rush of course, but...we're going to miss having another woman around." Emily laughed mid-hug.

"Trust me. I'll want to be back here as soon as possible."

"Did I miss the brain-washing or something? Did she really just say she'd rather be here at work than resting at home? Damn someone must've hit their head a little too hard." Derek joked and the team laughed, JJ playfully punching Derek's arm.

"You poor poor soul, getting stuck with this!" Emily laughed giving me unneeded sympathy for my friendship with Derek.

I pulled Derek aside to talk to him privately.

"What's up?" he asked, his look turning serious.

"It's just - do you think Aaron will let Reid house me after everything?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"Listen, I'll talk with him right now. Go find your Lover Boy." Derek smiled kissing my forehead. I nodded and looked around for Spencer.

"Looking for Spence?" JJ said coming up behind me, giving me slight support with her hand on my back. I nodded although it wasn't necessary. She knew.

"How about over there?" she pointed. I looked towards the direction of her finger, and there he was, at my desk. My heart warmed and I walked over after thanking her.

"So, how's it going?" I asked, sitting on the desk. He looked up and smiled. He stood up and hugged me as I continued to sit, knowing I could keep my balance much easier if I wasn't on my feet.

"How're you feeling?" he asked, taking my hands lightly.

"I've been better, but it feels good to be back here."

"What are you doing here?" I asked, referencing to my desk.

"Just some paperwork. You're a little behind and I figure it's the least I could do after all you've been through." he smiled, showing me a stack of seven or eight files.

"Did I mention you're the best? The last thing I need is Hotch on my ass about paperwork" I laughed with him.

"Thank you." I said, although it was implied.

"So where's your clingy attachment?" Spencer asked very lightly and gently.

"He's speaking with the intimidating Aaron Hotchner" I said dramatically.

"Yikes, what about?" he asked curiously.

"Well that's what I needed to talk with you about." he swallowed hard.

"How do you like the idea of housing me for a while. The thing is I just don't feel comfortable going home or anything and I certainly can't spend a night alone yet either. I-I mean if you can't or whatever I totally understand and Derek would be more than willing and -"

"Stop, stop." he laughed. "I'd love to." I smiled and hugged him again.

Derek bounded out of Hotch's office and searched for the two of us. Once he spotted us, he headed as fast as he could without knocking anyone over to where we stood.

"So?" I asked curiously although I expected the worst.

"It took a lot of convincing, but he's a softer after everything. He's okay with it." Derek smiled and I wrapped my arms around his neck and he scooped me up and spun me around before getting Reid's assistance to set me down gently and carefully.

"Whenever you're ready, I'm ready." Spencer said, gathering his few belongings he brought to my desk. I nodded and collected a few of my own things which he placed in his bag generously.

"Derek, thank you so much. Call me, text me anytime." I smiled, giving him one last hug. He kissed my cheek for a long, jokingly amount of time until I laughed so hard I almost fell off my desk.

"Thanks, Morgan. I'll check in with you later." Spencer said, placing his hand on my waist as we walked out.

I heard JJ say something to Morgan, which he laughed hysterically at, but decided to let it go. Although Spencer didn't pick me up, he helped me a great amount to get into the car and did do me the favor of strapping me in, during which he pecked me on the cheek.

"Oh someone's sneaky aren't they?" I laughed as Spencer started the car and began driving.

"Can my genius be attentive enough on the road using only one hand to drive?" he gave me a look out of the corner of his eye, but released one hand from the wheel. I took it happily in mine and got a smile out of him.

"Just please, take it back if you need it. I'd rather not sustain anymore injuries and I certainly don't need you getting hurt either." I said honestly. He just nodded and gave it a squeeze.

Once we got to his place, I immediately felt a shyness, feeling like I didn't belong, but he had a way of making everything feel warm and welcome. With him there, I felt at home.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"When aren't I hungry?" I laughed.

"I'll see what I have. Knowing your appetite, I thought you were going to die right then and there when you weren't allowed to eat." Spencer laughed. I gave a fake laugh although I didn't want to have to remember.

"How do you feel about cereal?" he asked, laughing a bit

"Perfect." I smiled. I sat on the couch while he prepared two bowls of cereal and sat next to me.

"Thank you" I said when he handed me my bowl.

I leaned my head on his shoulder and he didn't seem to mind. I finished in about five minutes while he took a staggering ten.

"I had no idea it was a contest." he laughed, setting his bowl down on the table. I curled into him and he put his arm around me, just pulling me closer. I couldn't have been happier.

"Are you tired? Whenever you are, just tell me." he smiled as my eyes drooped of exhaustion. I hated how much little action it took now in a day for me to be tired.

"If you're tired it's okay." I said looking up to him. I couldn't help but peck his cheek.

"I'm alright for now. You just looked tired to me." I grinned and shook it off. I was tired, but I didn't want to sleep. I didn't want to bother him with my nightmares. It wasn't fair. He must have noticed my internal conflict, because he rubbed my back.

"I think I want a shower." I said. He just laughed at the randomness of my announcement.

"Here I'll grab you some clothes you can wear." he said as I followed him to his bedroom.

"This okay?" he asked, throwing me a shirt" I nodded and headed off to the shower.

"What, no pants?" he laughed. I just sent him a laugh back and hopped in the shower. I was glad the water woke me up a little bit.

When I came out, he was lounging on his bed, watching TV.

What surprised me was that he got up and helped me onto the bed, basically picking me up and setting be on the bed, helping me move until I was comfortable, then he sat next to me as he was moments before. I leaned on him and closed my eyes, but moved my fingers as to not fall asleep. I couldn't do it. Suddenly, I felt his hand grasp my fingers. My eyes shot open and I looked up towards him.

"You know I used to do that type of thing too. You need to sleep." he said calmly, but also in a worrisome tone.

"I'm sorry. I-I just don't want to bother you if I have nightmares or anything. You have work." I was honest. My sincerity showed.

"You won't bother me. Plus, I'm not so sure Hotch is ready to take on another case after the last one. It wasn't that long ago." I looked deep into his eyes and nodded.

I rolled over on my side to get comfortable to try and sleep, but just as I did, he got up.

"Where are you going?" I asked staring at him as he stopped at the doorway.

"Well...I was going to the couch - you know, it's just...uh -" he was so cute sometimes.

"Stay. Here. Please, Spencer. I just need someone to hold me and to feel safe and loved and no one could do that better for me than you. Please." I begged, patting the space on the bed where he had been sitting a minute ago. He paused, then moved to his spot and turned on his side like I did mine earlier. I twisted slightly to grab his arm and wrapped it around my midsection. He was unsure of this at first, but allowed it to happen, and I snuggled into him, fitting our body shapes together. I did feel safe in his grasp. Perfectly safe.

I knew that nothing would be the same ever again for me or my team, but possibly - I'm just going out on a limb here - it ended up for the better. We've grown as people and changed the ways we were living after that, especially myself. Looking back, I've gained a lot. I'm not so sure I'd change it if I could.

***Not sure if I will write another chapter after this. Suggestions are definitely welcome and actually requested at this point! Thanks for all the support and I hope you can review and give me feedback and possible suggestions for an upcoming chapter. Thank you so much! I love you all!***

**Nicole, xoxo**


	11. Changed

*6 weeks later, Third Person POV*

Nicole held onto Spencer's arm as she prepared herself to enter headquarters.

"Are you ready?" he asked, looking down at the tiny girl.

"Almost. One more thing." she said. Before he could ask what she was talking about, she pulled his face to hers, kissing him in the parking lot. She really hoped none of the BAU members were watching.

"Sorry, had to get that in." she smiled and tugged him along as she walked to the door. To her surprise, no one was waiting for her. She was grateful. The element of surprise was on her side.

"Thank you for not announcing my return to the world." she said thankfully.

He watched as she walked over to Derek's desk and placed her hands on his shoulders.

"What is it, Garcia?" he asked without turning around.

"Fine. We can talk later Boss Man" she smiled, turning around and pretending to walk away. At the sound of her voice, he immediately sprung out of his chair.

"Baby Girl! What are you doing here?" he smiled pulling the young girl into a tight hug.

"You didn't think you could get rid of me that easily, did you Derek Morgan?" she said sarcastically hugging the man as tightly as possible.

"We missed you so much. Garcia has been coming to me every single day asking if I've heard anything from you. It's good to have you back." he smiled, tightening his grip. Just as she promised, she hugged him for what did seem like forever. When she finally let go and turned around, the team was all standing there, just watching with eyes of compassion.

"I'm sorry. I guess I got a little caught up." she laughed, heading to Garcia who was already approaching her.

"Please don't ever do that to me again" she said, squeezing Nicole tightly.

"Being abducted? I'll try." She laughed sarcastically, rolling her eyes. The rest of the onlooking team got a laugh out of that.

"I'd like a hug before Christmas" Rossi said, insisting Garcia share.

"Ugh, fine. But I'm not done with you." she said tapping the agent's nose before retreating.

"We missed you, Kid." Rossi said taking a hold of her.

"I missed you guys too."

"Unlike these two selfish kids over here, I'm going to make sure there's still enough of you left to go around." Rossi joked, holding her another minute, then letting her go.

JJ was next to her approach her, then Emily, and finally Aaron Hotchner.

"Agent." he smiled as she stood in front of him.

"We meet again, Mr. Official." she said sarcastically.

"Oh, I'm too official? Is this official?" he laughed as he hugged her tightly. This was very unlike Aaron Hotchner and he wasn't one to joke around as such with co-workers, but the circumstances changed everything.

"I missed you Aaron. It's nice to hear you laugh" she smiled although she said so sincerely. He pulled back, and stared at the agent. He brought his hand to uncover the bruise on her forehead that she managed to cover by the way she parted her hair. He lightly traced over it and was back to his serious self, although he was more concerned than anything.

"I'm okay, Sir." she said seriously.

"Yeah. That's what scares me." he said, and turned away. She sat down, holding her head up as her elbow rested on the desk.

"He's just worried. He'll come around. Don't worry about it, Baby Girl." Derek reassured.

"I know. I just worry about worrying him sometimes." she said rubbing her head.

"A-are you okay?" Spencer asked, his voice a bit shaken, afraid to stir up any emotions that already hadn't been awakened.

"Yeah, I'll be good." she smiled, although it wasn't as genuine. The team saw through it, but didn't want to bother her too much.

Without a word, she stood up and headed to her Unit Chief's office. The team watched her go, all pained that everything wasn't yet okay regardless of the time that had passed since the situation began with the abduction.

She knocked lightly, and without waiting for permission, she entered his office. He watched as she closed the door behind her and sat down in front of her desk.

"What's wrong?" she asked, completely seriously. He ran a hand through his hair, glancing from her to the papers on his desk.

"Is this about my paperwork, because Spence has been helping me get caught up -"

"No. Not exactly." he said, not looking her in the eye.

"Then what? Aaron, look at me. Is it that bad?" she asked, reaching a hand across the desk to touch his.

"Strauss isn't exactly on terms with everything that's gone on. She wants someone to blame." There was a long silence.

"Does the team know about her concern?" she asked quietly.

"Not exactly. She's interviewed them, getting each of their takes on what happened and everything, but she's only expressed her other concerns on myself." he looked at the agent sympathetically as she became the one refusing to look at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, all of her various emotions boiling within her.

"At first I didn't think she'd keep it up this long. I expected it to pass as time went on. Plus I needed you to focus on recovery. I'm sorry."

"Don't tell the team. Not until she's made a decision. I know that some of them, specifically Morgan and possibly Garcia will do and say things they'll regret. I don't need them trying to take the fall. Don't worry further on the matter, Aaron. I'll talk to her. If she truly wants me fired, who am I to stop her?" the other agent was dead serious, standing up.

"Wait, are you sure?" he asked, lightly grabbing her arm to stop her forward motion.

"Trust me, Aaron. Thank you." she touched his chest, looked into his eyes for a moment, and headed out the door. The team was waiting for her, staring with questioning eyes.

"What was all that about?" Derek asked protectively.

"It's nothing. I just need to talk to Strauss. No worries." she said, faking the pain she was feeling. Derek wasn't buying it and grabbed her arm just as Hotch did.

"Everything's going to be fine." he stared deep into her eyes and knew something was wrong, but stood motionless, watching her walk to Strauss's office. She knocked on the door and instead waited for permission.

"Ah, Agent. Have a seat." Without a word, Nicole did as she was told.

"How are you feeling?" she asked although obviously insincere. She had other matters on her mind.

"I'm much better now, thank you. Yourself?" she asked as politely as possible.

"I'm fine as well. I take it Agent Hotchner has informed you?" Strauss was cold.

"Uh, kind of. We didn't discuss the matter in detail or really at all. He simply made me aware that there was one." she explained, still trying to keep her cool.

"Well the matter is the media has completely taken the matter of your case out of text, criticizing the bureau. We've been made a mockery of and I simply cannot have this continue." she began to explain.

"This is about image?" she asked, slightly more agitated.

"They think the BAU is a joke! Between agents getting kidnapped and then having to bring them back to life after having the video feed of them being held captive spread across the country, I can't really blame them." Strauss was obviously furious with the matter.

"With all due respect, have you watched the video yourself, m'am?"

"Excuse me?"

"Please. Just answer the question." Strauss was taken back by the fact the agent was turning the tables around on her.

"No, I haven't. How is it relevant, Agent?" she said harshly

"I went through hell that my team was forced to endure along with me. If they wanted to find me at all, the team was forced to keep watching the feed, searching for clues to help them understand the sick son of a bitch who took me. They watched me get beaten and practically raped by this man with whom I had to pretend to love and couldn't fight, one because I was bound and two, because I needed to build his trust. Once the team had my location and after he trusted me enough to uncuff me, he began kissing me and touching me. I couldn't let it go any further and fought him. I went through hell and I can't imagine how my team felt watching me dead on the floor, trying to revive me. And you know what? They did. They saved my life. So if image is so damn important to you and you need someone to blame, choose me. I'm sorry I couldn't swallow my pride in order to allow that man to rape me. Maybe they would've found me physically intact, but I would've been dead inside. And maybe that wouldn't matter if it protected your precious image. I'm sorry, but if your insecurity grows too out of control, fire me. But don't you dare say anything to my team unless it's 'good job'." With that, Nicole stood up, storming out of the office, feeling the tears ready to burst out of her.

The team, including Aaron, wasn't three feet away from the door and she knew they heard every word exchanged. She veered away from them, but saw how Derek had to be restrained to keep him from chasing after her.

She didn't know where she was going but she needed to get away. She turned down hallways she never knew existed in that building until she found a vacant, dormant corner and curled into a ball, letting the tears escape. She cried into her knees endlessly.

"Excuse me?" a woman who worked in the building squatted and touched her knee.

"Are you alright?" the young agent looked up at the woman, but didn't say a word.

"Wait a minute, I know you. You-you're that girl. The one who was abducted. The video kind of circulated around this building. I'm sorry. Agent Hotchner's team right?" the agent just nodded.

"It's a sin what happened to you. It really gives you a different perspective on this world - what people are capable of. I'm sorry about it all." she held out a hand and helped the once-sobbing woman to her feet.

"Thank you." Nicole said genuinely. The other woman nodded, touching her shoulder before walking away to fulfill her duties. The agent wiped the tears from her eyes and collected herself before heading back to the bullpen where her team had since dispersed to their designated areas of work, but never left the building.

"Nicole" Derek said sullenly, seeing the young woman had been crying. He stood up and took her in his arms. Over his shoulder, she saw Spencer stare at her with sad eyes. She slowly pulled back from Derek and walked towards her lover.

"It's okay not to be okay" he whispered, his voice breaking. She collapsed into his arms and he kissed her head.

"I just want to go home." she said her voice very shaken. Without hesitation, Spencer grabbed his bag, and took her home.

_I was so afraid of how Aaron might react to her, but now it's clear he's not the villian at all. My profile was off. Everything is so wrong. _Spencer thought to himself, watching her lay sleepless.

_Everything_.

**Hey guys! At this point I am extremely desperate for reviews! Thank you333**

**Nicole, xoxo**


	12. Changed: Conclusion

Spencer woke up several times during the night, his worries about what happened with Strauss getting to him. After about the third time, he decided to give up and picked up his phone. It was late, about 3 AM, but he needed to check on her.

"Hello?" she picked up after two rings.

"You weren't asleep" he said taking note of her quick answer.

"Oh, Spencer. No I wasn't. What's up?" she sounded calm which scared him.

"I just couldn't really sleep and I wanted to check on you." his voice sounded so concerned and innocent. She immediately remembered the story about Jason Gideon he told her.

"Spencer...I promise I'm not gonna leave you." She knew he didn't want her to leave.

"T-thank you." he was surprised by the fact she figured him out so easily.

"Are you going to be okay, Spencer?" she was now worrying about him a lot more. She wasn't the only vulnerable one.

"That depends: are you coming to work tomorrow?" he spoke in his typical, fast-paced tone.

"I...you know I don't know that." he went silent and she knew she should've been more compassionate.

"I'm sorry, Spence. It's just complicated." she sighed.

"You should get some rest." he said. She just nodded.

"I'll do my best." she said doing what she could to sound reassuring.

"You sure you'll be okay?" he was still much too concerned about her well being.

"I'll be fine. Get some sleep. I love you. Night Spence." she gave a few seconds for him to respond, but she found he must have been too nervous to, she hung up. Curling up into a ball, she waited for the rest of the morning to come and what it would hold.

By 9, the phone calls flooded her phone, but none from Strauss. The team called her endlessly and she knew she couldn't ignore them all day. She got a shower, got dressed, and headed to work grabbing breakfast on the way.

After Derek's 8th call that morning, she finally picked it up.

"What is it, Derek?" she asked, slightly irritated.

"Whoa, Baby Girl, you feeling alright?" he joked, pretending to take offense to her tone.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I've just gotten like a billion calls this morning. You should be happy to know I'm on my way." she could feel him smiling

"Derek, don't get too excited yet. You heard what went down yesterday. If I can help with the case I will, but otherwise I'm not so sure I'm welcome."

"Alright. See you soon." he said, sounding defeated.

"Bye" she hung up and continued her drive for another 10 minutes.

After pulling into the lot, she took out her phone. She called back Derek for one last time.

"Hey, everything okay?" he asked wondering why he was getting another call when she hardly wanted the first one.

"Fine. Are you in the bullpen?"

"Yeah. Why?" he was still confused, but at least not concerned about her safety.

"Tell me, is Strauss around?" he laughed

"I haven't seen her all day. Actually now that you mention it, I haven't seen Hotch either." she swallowed hard at this new information.

"Okay. I'll be in in a minute." With that, she hung up. After taking a deep breath and resting her head on the steering wheel, she headed inside.

Derek's arms were waiting, wide open, waiting for a hug. She didn't hesitate and dived into his arms, squeezing him as tightly as possible. He caught on very quickly and tightened his grip on her as well. They hugged for a moment, then let go.

"Are you okay?" he asked, holding her shoulders. She just nodded and headed towards the bullpen with the rest of the team. He followed closely behind, not taking his eyes of off her for a second. They made a promise not to profile each other, but he and the team considered this situation the exception to that promise. He took notice of her eyes - specifically the area of skin under them. It always had a tint of grey due to her lack of sleep, but it seemed worse today. Her eyes were slightly puffy as well and he knew that during the period most were asleep, she was crying and stressing out.

_It's not fair_ Derek thought to himself.

He watched as she immediately headed over towards the man she proclaimed her love for and hugged him tightly. No words were necessary. As the team began readying their things, she knew it must be about time to head off to wherever they were going, but she had to hold on a moment longer. Planting a kiss on his cheek subtly, she followed the team as they headed towards the door.

"We'll fill you in on the way. The murders are fairly local, about 30 minutes away." Emily smiled before walking past her to get into one of the vehicles.

She followed suit, piling into the SUV with Morgan and Reid.

"What about Aaron?" she asked as they began to drive.

"He said he had other obligations and to go on without him. If he could catch up he would. Did something happen?" Derek was curious, but mostly concerned. They weren't fortunate enough to hear that conversation unlike the one with Strauss.

"No, trust me that conversation was nothing compared to what you guys heard." she said honestly. Spencer swallowed hard. "So, what's with this case?"

"This UnSub etches individual letters on various areas on the bodies of the victims, but we have no idea what he's trying to communicate or what the relevance is." Spencer answered feeling much more in his comfort zone.

"Do we have a list of all the letters? And how many victims are there so far?"

"Yeah we've sent a copy of the list to Garcia, but she's stumped. We're on the way to our third victim." Derek said glancing to the agent in the passenger side.

"What can you tell me about the victims?" she dodged Derek's glare with a question.

"All white males in their mid 30's with blue eyes and blond hair. The physical build is very similar as well." Spencer chimed in.

"So definitely a surrogate. Have you found any relevance to where he's dumping the bodies?"

"Not yet, but the location of the bodies is where he murdered them. The first was outside a building that was dated back to about 10 years ago, the second 7 years ago, and we haven't heard any word about the latest. No connection yet." Derek had a tone in his voice. She felt his gaze on her and she turned to look outside the window. He took her hand and she flinched, causing him to immediately let go.

"He's got you all messed up, doesn't he?" He wasn't asking. He already knew. Spencer watched how they each handled and engaged in the situation, never realizing just how much she was affected.

"It's not your fault, you know. You do know that right?" Derek still continued to glance at her whenever he could. She just held her head, still not turning to look at either of the men.

"Listen to me. What happened to you, what happened to us, what happened with Strauss - none of that is your fault. I won't let you blame yourself." Derek said so aggressively, but only because he cared so much. There was a long silence before he stopped the car at the scene of the crime. Each member exited and knew they had to put the matter aside.

"This is Michael Harris. He was on his way home from work when he was presumably attacked right here. No trails of blood indicate the body wasn't placed here like the others." the local enforcement notified the team.

"Hey Garcia can you get me some info on a Michael Harris? I specifically want to know where he worked and anything else you think might be useful." Nicole asked the techie.

"Sure thing, doll. I'll be back in a jiff!"

"What do you have in mind?" Emily asked curiously

"There's something about these buildings that are meaningful to our UnSub and I'm determined to find out what. Make sure someone gets each and every one of these letters down, too." she answered taking a small walk around the scene in search for any indicators, but her mind was definitely somewhere else.

After processing the scene, the team headed back to the local office where they set up and discussed the profile.

"This guys definitely not afraid of being caught. Somehow he's able to carve distinguishable letters in the victims without being caught. That takes skill." JJ observed.

"So he's confident" Rossi said, pointing out the rest of the team's thoughts.

"He's definitely worked with smaller tools in order to carve as quickly and precisely." Reid speculated.

"Maybe a doctor?" Emily suggested.

"It's possible." Derek agreed.

"What's interesting is he does everything so quickly. I mean he stabs these men harshly a couple times and they die pretty quickly, then he goes on to carving. Usually time is taken to kill the victims in order to get the satisfaction." Nicole mentioned.

"She makes a point. The surrogates represent someone in the way of his main concern. But what's this guy looking to do?" Rossi wondered.

"I think he's trying to send a message." Derek said looking at everything everyone said.

"The question is to who?" JJ said.

The phone rang and the team answered quickly, knowing it was Garcia.

"Whatcha got, Mama?" Derek asked.

"Well the building is fairly new - construction ended about a year ago."

"What about the victim?" Nicole asked, trying to piece something together.

"He worked at an office about five minutes away, hence the walking home." Garcia smiled at the easy information she was able to gather.

"Thanks so much, Garcia. We'll talk to you soon." With that, they hung up.

"Can I get a list of those letters?" Nicole asked Derek.

"Sure, but what do you have in mind?"

"I don't know yet." she said grabbing the list. "Thanks"

She headed to the board and copied down all of the letters on the board. She then took a seat in front of the board and stared, trying to make sense of it all.

Hours passed with nothing, and it was no surprise that Derek came to check on her.

"Hey, do you have anything?" he asked taking a seat next to her.

"No, not yet." she said staring blankly at the board.

"Look at me. Please." he began of his statement angrily, but then calmed himself. He reached out to touch her, but stopped himself remembering her reaction in the car.

Without touching her skin, he turned her chair to face him and looked at her.

"Please...look at me." he said, lifting her chin to look at him with his finger.

"Don't hit me." she cried, looking away. The tears filled her eyes and although she immediately flinched, he pull her into a hug.

"Shh, he's gone. No one's going to hurt you. You're safe." he whispered into her hair.

"I know, I know. I-I'm sorry." she said, pulling back and wiping away her tears.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked, sliding a hand down her arm to take her hand. She nodded, turning back to the board.

"Listen, you need a break." he stood up, trying to pull her out of her chair, but she stopped him.

"Wait...I think I have something." she walked to the board to the last set of letters from the last victim. Underneath them she began to write out a word.

"Industries?" he asked.

"The buildings - we thought he was sending a message. What if the buildings are his and he's trying to get a message out about his company?" she immediately headed to the phone to call Garcia while Morgan gathered the rest of the team.

"You've got PG here. How can I be of service?"

"Okay Penelope I need you to trace all of the names of building companies in the area ending in 'industries'." Nicole said rapidly.

"That's slightly vague sweetheart. What other parameters are we looking at?" Nicole looked around the room.

"The second word is brothers. The first must be a name of some sort." Spencer said looking at the board.

"Lucky for you there are two - The Tahl Brothers and the Downing Brothers." Garcia said working her magic.

"Alright what can you tell us about the second?" JJ asked after they eliminated the first company based on the letters given.

"Wait, I thought we were looking for a doctor." Emily said confused.

"We were considering the skill-set but in this case he's an artist. He's an architect." Spencer explained.

"That would explain how he's able to cut them so quickly and efficiently. He's used to etching small details to large on his sketches." Derek agreed

"How do we know which brother is the murderer, though?" Rossi questioned.

"Garcia can you send me their pictures please?" Nicole asked

"Sure thing. Need anything else?"

"Yes actually. What can you tell me about who designed these buildings?"

"I'm digging, digging. Oh my gosh. A certain set of brothers designed all three buildings the victims were found in front of!" Garcia said shocked at how fast everything was coming together.

"Now look into their company and what may have caused the other to kill." Emily said.

"Umm finances have been rough within the past few years but they seem to be making it work...normal family as kids, both went to college and graduated withing the top 50 of their class..."

"Garcia check recently like in the past month." Rossi suggested.

"Umm nothing sorry...wait! The one brother, Stephen, wanted to sell the company! Big legal dispute going on."

"That's it. It's gotta be Mark. Alright Garcia we need an address, but of both." JJ said formally.

"Sent to your phones. Go get em my doves. Stay safe! Ciao!"

Everyone suited up, ready to head to the houses, although they were certain Mark was after Stephen.

"Alright Nicole, head with Reid and Morgan to Stephen's, we'll go to Mark's." Rossi said as they headed towards the SUVs.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea -" Derek began

"We don't have time, it's fine. Let's go." Nicole corrected hopping into the passenger side.

"You don't have to do this." Derek said while they drove.

"Do what?" she asked. Spencer stared curiously from the back seat.

"Pretend." Derek clarified.

From then on, silence consumed the vehicle until they got a call Mark wasn't at his house from the other team. They prepared outside Stephen's house noticing all the lights were off. Mark was definitely in there.

"Alright I'm going to head to the back. Stay with her and go in the front. Whatever you do, don't split up." Derek ordered before heading to the back of the house. Nicole headed towards the door which was unlocked. They held their flashlights besides their guns, scanning the first room.

"It's clear." Spencer whispered. Nicole nodded, leading towards the stairs. They saw Derek who also claimed everything was clear. With a head nod, the team headed up the stairs, although Derek refused to let Nicole lead. If he wasn't doing all he could to protect her, he wasn't working hard enough. He wasn't doing his job.

The last bedroom contained the two men who were still unaware the FBI was around. Derek flung open the door, and Mark grabbed Stephen and held him at gunpoint.

"Put it down, Mark. Put the weapon down." Derek said calmly but seriously.

"Mark, Mark. I'm not going to hurt you. I know why you did what you did." Nicole said stepping around Derek, placing her weapon on the ground.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked in a hushed tone. She ignored him.

"He's your brother and you've been nothing but good to him since you were kids. I mean you trusted him and suddenly he wants to sell you out? That's not cool." she said, slowly stepping closer to him. She got his attention.

"Who is he to decide if you should sell or not? You're a smart man. Carving your messages in the victims was genius. It took us a very long time to actually piece it together. You just wanted to get your message heard. Your brothers a scumbag. He used you." his attention was fully diverted and Stephen was begging for mercy.

"You deserve better. Please, put the weapon down and I promise you we'll make sure that everyone knows how awful your brother is and how you were just trying to get the justice you deserved. Please, Mark." she reached for his gun and after anticipating for a moment, he handed it over. Derek rushed to handcuff Mark and Spencer moved towards Nicole and Stephen.

"That was good." Spencer said, hand on her shoulder. She nodded and he took Stephen downstairs. Local authorities arrived within the next few minutes and Derek returned to check on Nicole.

"You okay?" he asked, turning her around to face him.

"Fine. Let's go." she didn't allow him to argue and headed down the stairs and into the SUV.

The ride began silent, but Derek wasn't going to let it stay that way.

"You could've gotten yourself killed, you know that right?" Derek said. He was definitely blowing off steam.

"You're right. I could have. But I didn't and I helped saved a life. I say that's a victory." she said calmly.

"Still. It was a stupid move and I won't ever let you do that again." he said protectively .

"Derek, I love you, but you're out of line. Yes, it was dangerous, but it's part of the job. I chose to do this and so did you. Danger is inevitable. I'm sorry I scared you."

"You know, she's right. We're supposed to be the heroes and quite frankly heroes can't be heroes if they aren't willing to die." Spencer added.

Nicole turned to face Spencer and took his hand and kissed it. He smiled in return.

"Well uh, for the record I'm sorry too. You did a really good job tonight. I just wish I could protect you more." Derek said in the parking lot of Headquarters.

They each unbuckled and stepped out of the car, Nicole faster than the others.

"You seem rushed. Some kind of date tonight?" Spencer joked.

"Of course," she rolled her eyes. "I just thought you guys may have been in need of a hug but if you want to make jokes..." Nicole turned away from the men, but Derek grabbed her arm. She immediately turned around and hugged the two men tightly, first together then individually.

They walked together inside, arms linked, to meet the rest of the team.

"So what happened?" JJ asked anxiously.

"Well let's just say someone pretended to make best friends with our psycho and could have gotten herself killed, but instead saved a victim's life and was able to take him in without any shots being fired or combat taking suit. Pretty good I guess." Derek said patting Nicole on the back.

"Well good for you!" Emily joked, taking her in a side hug.

"Good work. Glad no one got hurt." Aaron said seriously, walking away. He looked extremely stressed and the smile fled from her face.

"Aaron...tell me." she said walking towards him. He glanced at the team who was fully intent.

"I've been doing my best to talk down Strauss, but she's still not extremely convinced you deserve to be here. Just...keep your guard up." he said leaning in. She seemed to go numb, staring at him.

"I'm sorry." he added before walking away.

**I know this was longer, but I hope you don't mind! Again I seriously need reviews! I need to know what's good and what's bad. I don't mind how vague or not you go, but I seriously need feedback. I appreciate all of you who follow this story and myself. I love you guys333**

**Nicole, xoxo**


	13. Never Be The Same

She continued to stand motionless, feeling the eyes of her beloved team members looming over her. She truly expected Derek to be the first to walk over to her, however it was the young Spencer Reid. It wasn't that he didn't care all the times before when he allowed Derek to comfort her - that wasn't it at all. He was shy around her. Plus, he knew for a fact how much she meant to Derek and he didn't feel right stealing their moments. He kept his distance and did what he could when he could.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.

"Not right now...no. Would you mind if I stayed at your place again tonight? I understand if you can't or aren't really up to it. I know how much of a short notice I'm giving you. Don't feel obligated Spencer." she looked deep into his eyes and he knew she was serious. She truly cared about his feelings and didn't want to overstep her boundaries.

"I don't mind at all. Do you want to head out now? I can wait if you're not ready to leave just yet." he placed a hand on her shoulder and she took great comfort in that. He was willing to change his plans in order to suit her needs.

"I think I'm ready now if you are." he nodded and placed a very light arm around her waist.

"It's gonna be okay. We won't go down without a fight." Emily reassured as they passed her by. JJ gave a weak wave and got one in return. The remaining members watched as the two walked out the building and headed to Spencer's car.

"I think I'm gonna stop at your place first so you can grab anything you need for work tomorrow. It's no problem and it's on the way." he said as they began their short drive. She watched the scenery outside the window change as the winds picked up and small droplets of drain began to descend from the skies. The light rain pelted the car and seemed to drown out the stresses in her overactive and crowded mind.

"I get it if you don't want to talk. But they're right. We'll find a way to reason with Strauss." his voice was filled with sympathy. He cared so much more than he ever truly let on in front of the team. It was for the better that way, though. They both knew that at heart. Hotch was understanding because of the circumstances and trusted both members; however Strauss didn't understand. She didn't work with the team day by day, watch other members struggle with demons that consumed their personal lives, or even go out for a good time with the team. She didn't understand. She couldn't in her position. They couldn't risk a romantic encounter with that knowledge. Both members would be transferred or even kicked out of the BAU. The severity of that consequence made it impossible to even run the risk. Not at work.

"Listen I know you guys want to do all you can to sort this out, but I'm feeling really guilty about it. You've all done too much - risked too much - just for me. I can't let it go any further. I appreciate everything with my entire being though I can promise you. I just can't let you all allow my issues to run your life." her voice broke with honesty. She had no intention of pushing her team away, but she couldn't take the guilt. Everything had been for her. That wasn't fair.

"We're a team. It's what we do." Spencer tried to reason although he knew they could argue about the issue for hours. He didn't want that, though. He placed the car in park and got out of the car to open her door. The rain wasn't letting up anytime soon, yet neither of the two seemed to mind. They moved leisurely yet swiftly to her door. Spencer sat on the edge of her bed and watched her grab a few items such as clothing and hair accessories. He noticed how effortlessly she moved, but also how she retreated back to the same places over and over to grab items she forgot while she was there. It was an inconvenience to pack with such a system, but her brain was scattered. She couldn't focus.

"I think I've got just about everything" she said grabbing her go-bag and heading down the stairs, Spencer not far behind.

"Do you want something to eat?" he asked casually before they left her home.

"No, I'm not really hungry. I can grab you something or even make something if you want, though." she said pausing and setting down her bag.

"Oh, no thank you. I just assumed you would be considering you usually are. Thank you." He was faster than her as he leaned down to grab her bag. He gave a sly smile and she couldn't help but return the favor. He missed seeing her smile like that. After the abduction, she truly did become a victim, and it showed. The little things gave her away. It wasn't her fault of course, but none of that mattered. The damage was done and the rest of the pain didn't seem like it was going to let up anytime soon with Strauss on her case. They had to press their limits on this one. They had to at least try and do something or face the regret for the rest of their lives- every time they walked through the doors of the BAU, at the end of every case, at the end of everyday. They didn't have a choice.

Spencer thought about this during the drive, the buzz of her cell phone echoing in his mind and awakening his attention. He glanced over to see her sending a text message and hoped no one tried to stir up anything of the past days or hours. She needed a break when she could get one.

"Morgan?" he asked casually, tone normal, steady.

"How'd you know?" she joked lightly, only smiling for but a moment. He smiled too, but his also faded quickly.

For the rest of the drive, they sat in verbal silence, the only noise to be heard being the rain as it steadily tapped on the windows and frame of the vehicle. The silence wasn't awkward, but nice in a sense. Sometimes silence spoke words that humans could never verbalize. Silence was truthful and honest and unmasked. The quiet seemed to scream what they were thinking and the emotions echoed throughout the car. He could feel her pain. He couldn't understand it, but he knew there was a great deal of it - too much of it. It was almost as if the pain and hurt and fear radiated off her in that moment. He was overwhelmed by it. She never let on to that much in the BAU. It was at times like this when he thought back to when she first joined the team and the time after that if she ever hid anything else. She always seemed happy, but analyzing the moment he was currently in made him question every other encounter, every other minute he spent with her.

"Spencer?" she placed a hand lightly on his knee, which was what woke him from his thoughts this time. He looked at her, then at his surroundings, coming to the realization they had made it to their destination. He shook of his thoughts for the moment and stepped out the car, heading to her side to open her door for her. He gave her his hand, giving her the unnecessary but gladly appreciated help out of the car and led her to the door. Spencer's place was beginning to become more and more familiar to her - more like home.

"I'm going to go change for a minute, then I'll be back." he said, looking into her eyes. He stood for a moment, digging into them, trying to see how much more they hid. He noticed the circles under her eyes had worsened since the last time he noticed them and instantly noticed the toll the stress had had on her body. The way she moved - so slowly and steadily was unlike her. He never thought about it until now. Not only was her mind exhausted, but her body as well. He wondered when the last time she slept at all was.

He headed to the room opposite where they stood and she took the liberty of getting dressed herself. Within a minute's time, he was back and dressed as was she. He didn't turn on the TV or music or anything. Again, they found themselves content with the silence, the only noise being the escalated rain pelting the rooftop and windows.

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked after what seemed like hours but was really only a few minutes of sitting beside each other on his bed like they had before. She nodded, leaning her head on his shoulder contently.

"When's the last time you got a decent amount of uninterrupted sleep?" the question caused her to lift her head and look him in the eyes.

"I-I...I don't know. I honestly don't know to tell you the truth." she hugged her knees to her chest. He simply nodded and placed an arm around her curled up body. After another few silenced minutes, she unfolded and laid herself down on her side.

"Do you want me to...like before?" he asked quietly, turning on his side. She nodded and reached behind her for his arm. He curled it around her body, feeling more confident and pulling her in tighter than before. After intertwining her fingers in his, she felt her eyelids grow heavy and squeezed her fingers tighter around his.

"It's okay. Try and get some sleep." he pleaded but didn't push. He needed her to be able to fall into a slumber on her own terms, but knew she needed guidance.

"...do you keep your gun in here? she asked hesitantly, her voice showing the fear she tried so hard to mask. The fear was certainly unraveling after the skin-to-skin contact issue with Morgan that presented itself earlier.

"Y-yes. But I promise we won't need it." he reassured her, giving her a quick squeeze. When no reply came, he knew he still needed to say more.

"...but it's here." he knew she needed to hear that and wasn't going to rob her of that sense of security. He wondered if she might benefit more from staying with Morgan. In his presence, anyone could feel ten times safer, no matter the situation. He definitely held it in consideration and filed it to the back of his mind for further consideration. He'd go to any lengths to make her feel secure again.

It didn't take long for him to feel the steady rise and fall of their hands on her abdomen and he felt a wave of relief. She was asleep. That was all that mattered at the moment. If she was lucky enough not to have any nightmares, she would get a good night's sleep. It was as simple as that. He knew that when she wasn't alone, she slept better. He took the slightest pride in knowing he could help her by being there, even if only a little bit.

She was never going to be the same. That much was evident. But that didn't mean he'd ever stop trying to heal her wounds and to pave a solid foundation for her emotions. She needed help and he wasn't going to ignore that. Neither was the team.

_She'll be okay _he told himself before closing his eyes and allowing himself the sleep he needed after being satisfied with her state.

_She'll be okay._


	14. To Great Lengths

The loud noises that seemed to be even louder considering Spencer was just sleeping, echoed throughout the room although the agent beside him didn't seem to flinch. He was thankful for that. He picked up his cell phone to find a new message from JJ. He feared opening it in case it indeed was a new murder or set of murders or an abduction or anything that could relate to or be a new case.

_'PPW Day :)' _read the message. He sighed a heavy, relieved sigh and fell back onto the pillow. Paperwork day. Beside him, she stirred slightly and he cursed at himself internally for not being more sensitive and quiet. She rolled over and snuggled into his chest, listening intently to the sound of his heartbeat. He rubbed her back slightly, still not as comfortable in the role he was now playing. He liked her, he truly did, but he didn't know how to act or what to do. He hadn't been in this situation enough times especially not with a friend and co-worker. However, he was determined to figure things out and to make it work. He couldn't let her slip away. Spencer wanted to be everything she wanted and needed, because already she had proved she was that to him.

Still laying on his chest, she looked towards his face and pecked his jawline quickly. He turned his head to smile at her. She took this opportunity to kiss his lips like she had before in the parking lot. As usual he was a bit shocked, but eased into everything. She pulled away and sat up against the headboard of the bed, causing him to do the same.

"What time do you want to go in?" he asked setting a hand on her leg very cautiously. She paused, staring at him in bewilderment. He quickly glanced towards his phone and she immediately turned to grab hers. After reading the message for about a second and a half, a smile coated her face. He watched her fill with excitement, but watched it fade as well. It was like her entire world had been built and destroyed within seconds in front of his eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked after witnessing that kind of transformation.

"It's just...it'll probably be today." she sat cross-legged and held her head in pure frustration. Her stomach grew uneasy. He was about to ask what she was talking about, then it hit him. Her reaction was so powerful. She was afraid today would be the day Strauss brought her in to discuss her position at the BAU and with her current team. He forgot about it for a while. He hated how he had the luxury of forgetting such things that she just didn't have. He lightly rested a hand on her back as she quietly sobbed to herself.

"You know what? Let's go. I mean I'd rather get it over with than kill myself by prolonging this. I'm sorry, Spencer, but I can't do this anymore." she said, wiping at her eyes and crawling towards the edge of the bed. He nodded, but watched as she collected herself, then traveled to get herself ready. It killed him to see her like this, but there wasn't anything he could do to take away the fear she had at this moment. There were no cases in the way. Strauss had opportunity and it wasn't like her to deny opportunity. Not to mention the agent in question had already confronted the woman and threw her concern back in her face. Strauss had to be furious.

She walked around the room grabbing her things and headed to the shower. Spencer watched helplessly. He needed to do something. Instantly, he took out his phone, dialing Morgan.

"Hey Pretty Boy. Everything alright? You got JJ's text, right?" Morgan asked answering the phone.

"Yeah I did. Listen, that's kind of the problem. Nicole - she's freaking out. She thinks Strauss might try and conference with her today and I think she might too. We need to do something. If we don't, she's going to be kicked out the FBI or at the least to another team." Spencer spoke in a quickened, whispered tone in fear she might hear him. He wanted to keep everything on the down low. She told him she didn't want the team interfering with this one, but he couldn't sit and watch her face consequences that were undeserved.

"Alright I'll talk to the rest of the team and get back to you. We'll sort this thing out Pretty Boy. You can count on that." Morgan hung up and Spencer felt slight relief for the moment. He knew Morgan was the one to talk to. He wasn't one to give up, especially when it came to this girl. His best friend.

After her shower, she walked out to see Spencer sitting on the bed, seemingly lost in thought.

"Spencer? Spence are you okay?" she asked, hurrying over towards him. At her touch, he seemed to snap out of it immediately, touching her hand which laid on his cheek.

"Y-yeah. Yeah I'm sorry. I'll be ready in five." he stood up pretending as if nothing was wrong, and readied himself. She was upset at this, but couldn't let anything else get to her at the moment. His approximation was dead on and within 6, they were out the door and on the road.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked breaking the silence they had become so accustomed to. They could never say the wrong thing when they said nothing at all. For a while that seemed pretty good, but only temporary. At heart, they both knew this to be true.

"Yeah, fine." he said, no hint of deception in his voice. She nodded and folded her hands in her lap. Minutes passed and the silence once returned, but not for long.

"What about you?" he asked, concerned and curious at the same time.

"Hmm?" she knew what he meant. Of course she knew. But she needed time to ready her voice and emotions to give a good performance.

"Are you okay?" he asked, knowing exactly what she was trying to do. He wasn't happy at that. It just showed how bad it really was - how afraid she was.

"Oh, yeah. Fine. Just fine." she said, seemingly so sincere. He had to admit that she was convincing, but she wasn't fooling him. Another few minutes of silence passed and they arrived at the place that was like a second home to them.

She quickly stepped out of the car and he followed her lead. They met in the middle of the parking lot, and he took her hand - careful not to interlock fingers. He had to appear he was just a friend giving support to a friend rather than a boyfriend supporting his lover. He couldn't irritate matters if he wanted to keep her on their team. He hoped to himself that Morgan came up with something good.

To his surprise, Hotch was the first to meet the two as they entered the building.

"Reid, may I speak with you in my office?" he didn't seem to be asking, but it didn't matter. Reid wasn't going to refuse on a day like this. Nicole stood, watching the two head to Hotch's office and soon disappeared inside.

"It'll be alright." Derek said placing a hand on her shoulder. She gasped and flinched, but this time because of the element of surprise. She was jumpy and he couldn't blame her.

"I'm sorry. You alright?" he asked, watching her clutch her chest.

"Yeah, yeah. You just nearly gave me a heart attack though" she laughed slightly. He smiled. He missed seeing this side of her - seeing and interacting with who she really was. That girl he knew was still there, buried underneath scars and pain and fear. Seeing it surface gave him reassurance in his own words - maybe it was going to be alright after all.

"You need to calm down" he laughed with her, his arm resting around her shoulders, pulling her in to his side.

"But that's the thing! How can I be calm when I know...when I know what I know?" she was seriously asking him. She needed a way to cope - something to give her hope and to hold her together.

"You don't know what you think you do. This team isn't going to let that happen to you, I promise. You're safe with us, baby. Trust that. Trust us. And trust yourself. It's all going to be fine. I promise you that." Trust was something that wasn't easy for Derek considering everything that happened when he was a kid. She knew because of that, he meant every word. She allowed herself to trust him, which was a huge step for her emotionally. The change was obvious.

"I think I forgot to hug you" she smiled playfully. The smile on his face was unable to be contained. He picked her up in his arms, laughing and smiling brightly. She clung to his neck tightly, remembering how much she missed moments like this with her best friend.

"Thank you." she whispered. He set her down and kissed her head gently.

"Anytime." he leaned in, whispering into her ear. Now she was the one who couldn't control her smile. He took her into another hug before walking with her to her desk and to assist her with paperwork.

"This isn't necessary for you to do, you know." she chuckled as he took the liberty of completing half of everything she decided to start.

"Exactly. I want to." After sharing another smile, they worked through more of the menial papers together, completely and utterly content.

"Is Morgan actually helping with paperwork? He usually gets me to do his let alone someone else's." Spencer joked walking over to catch up with the two he had left earlier.

"What did Hotch want?" she asked, biting her lip anxiously.

"Oh it was, it was nothing. He just asked that I keep my cool if Strauss decides to - uh well you know." he lied, glancing at Morgan who nodded subtly. She nodded her head and looked back down at her paperwork. Derek rubbed her back gently, letting her know that everything would be fine eventually.

"I'm gonna go get something to drink. You guys want anything?" Nicole asked standing up, hoping to clear her head. Both men shook their heads and watched her walk away far enough so that she wouldn't hear anything they said.

"So, who's today?" Spencer asked Derek, still in a hushed tone although he knew she couldn't hear him.

"Prentiss. Next week is Rossi I think." Derek answered casually, speaking in his normal, inside voice.

"How about you?" Spencer was quite curious and didn't know how the other man would react when put in the position they needed him in. They each had to sacrifice in order to save their beloved member.

"Hotch hasn't said yet. He wants to see how things go first. Can't blame him. Angry is an understatement." Derek was ready to fume and Spencer backed off. He knew Derek's anger wasn't directed at him, but he didn't need to pry anymore.

"Who's angry?" Nicole asked, sitting back down with a water in hand. Both men jumped slightly not realizing she was back already.

"Oh...you know he just kept going on and on about something smart. The usual." Derek joked and tried to laugh it off. She nodded, playfully punching Spencer's arm. They both breathed a quiet sigh of relief, thankful she didn't suspect a thing. After they knew the coast was clear with her, they began light conversation with her while finishing up the paperwork together as well.

* * *

Several weeks passed and the agent in question began to grow more and more anxious as time went on - the exact opposite effect Spencer imagined this would have on her. She still had no idea what the team was doing or what was going on. He wanted so much to tell her and to end the lying, but they were too close at this point. He couldn't jeopardize their mission that Hotch went through Hell with Strauss to get her to agree to the idea. It hurt Spencer even more so to see her try to cover everything up. He knew that it would at one time get to a point where she couldn't hide anymore, and came to the consensus that tonight was that night.

He watched her hug the pillow tightly to her chest, clinging onto her emotions. He gently touched her shoulder and watched as her tear-filled eyes turned to find his.

"I'm scared." she whispered her voice completely shaken and broken. As the last word escaped her lips, she couldn't hold her tears in any longer and finally let everything out that she'd been holding in for so long. He took her into his arms although he didn't really have a choice as she collapsed into him. He held her tightly, almost ready to cry himself. This had to end. The second he got the chance he would call up Morgan or Hotch and get everything sorted out. Any longer and none of the team would be able to function.

He recalled how she interacted with the team so lovingly back at the BAU during the past few weeks - clinging tighter during hugs, still joking around and being silly, having physical contact more often than usual, but she also kept it entirely and perfectly professional. He had to admit he was extremely proud of her and her bravery during these times. It was hard though to watch the team struggle as well. They always had to rehearse what they were going to say and when and to see her act perfectly normal killed them knowing she was dying inside.

After holding her while she sobbed for at least an hour, she calmed down and soon fell asleep in his arms. She was exhausted in every way possible and he was glad knowing she should be able to sleep through the night. He removed her from his lap very gently, slowly, and cautiously. As soon as he knew he was in the clear, he headed to the other room to make the call. He didn't care what time it was - this was extremely important. Hotch would understand.

After four rings, he picked up the phone, the tiredness evident in his voice.

"Reid? It's 2 AM. Is everything okay?" he had a slight urgency in his voice, concerned as to why the call couldn't wait.

"I know Sir and I'm sorry, but it's important. I know we can't do anything about it now, but I still need to talk to you about it." As usual, Spence spoke quickly and distinctively.

"What is this about?" Hotch had calmed down, but was somewhat frustrated knowing that it technically could wait.

"Has every member of the team met with Strauss? I know Nicole and the team aren't going to make it any longer. This has to end." Hotch knew he was right.

"Yes they have. I'll speak with her today and my best guess is that she'll call her in to discuss the matters. I can't promise a specific verdict, but you know we've done all we can." Spencer swallowed, then nodded.

"Thank you, Sir. Goodnight. I'm sorry to have woken you, but I couldn't wait to tell you. Thank you." Hotch hung up and Spencer finally breathed a sigh of relief. He headed back to bed in a more comfortable state although not a worry free one, and curled himself ever so gently into the woman he was beginning to be more comfortable and open with. Everything seemed to be falling into place.

* * *

Spencer was anxious to hear the ping of his cell phone for another morning and sprung up at the sound. He clicked 'open' very cautiously and a smile spread across his lips. _Paperwork Day_. This whole dilemma could finally end and everything could be normal again, but everything could also get much worse. He reminded himself at his neglect Aaron's words "I can't promise a specific verdict". Regardless of all that the team had done, the decision was still Strauss's to make.

"Hey, it's another day dedicated to paperwork" Spencer spoke quietly, gently shaking her. She rubbed her eyes and sat up slowly. He chuckled at her disheveled hair and her reluctance to get up. Whenever he told her this she was still as anxious as ever, but had taught herself to push back the feelings.

She climbed out of bed and readied herself, but he noticed how she tried to make herself up a little bit more on days like these. He knew she knew in the end nothing would truly make a difference such as how she dressed, but she couldn't help herself.

After they finished getting ready for the day ahead, they met up at the door, sharing a kiss. It had become routine and neither were going to complain or request a change. When it came to car rides, he held her hand the whole way and listened to her sing along to the radio station of his choice. It was the small things that gave them bits of joy on days where the tension was thicker than usual.

"Uh, I need to tell you something." Spencer said, trying to collect his thoughts after placing the car in park and removing his key from the ignition.

Her eyes immediately darted to his face and she stared awaiting.

"Hotch called me...he wanted me to tell you...We talked for a while and -"

"Please." she placed a hand on his knee, pleading for him to spit it out. After swallowing hard, he took a deep breath.

"Strauss has requested to meet with you." Spencer watched the wave of emotions consume her until she simply nodded and opened her door.

He followed her as she speed-walked towards the door to the BAU.

"Wait." he called, finally getting her to stop as he grabbed her arm.

"It's gonna be okay." he said quietly. Again she nodded without a word and continued to the door.

As she looked around the office, she found each one of her teammates socializing with one another, scattered around the office in little groups, but they focused on her.

She stared forward again, stopping in her tracks as she faced the office - the location in which her fate would be decided.

A hand was placed on her shoulder and she couldn't tell who it was, but she didn't look back to find out. Slowly, she walked towards the door, took a deep breath, and raised her hand to knock upon the door.

"Come in, come in" said the voice within the office. She opened the door and watched as Strauss finished the line she was writing and then looked up to make eye contact.

"Agent. Please, have a seat."

"Thank you" she said taking a seat in front of her commander.

"It's been quite a while since we've met like this. I don't intend to have it happen another time." The agent swallowed hard, afraid of what the Section Chief might be implying.

"Regarding last time - m'am, I'm sorry. I realize I was out of life and was disrespectful. I take full responsibility and apologize whole-heartily.

"I understand that. Now, I'd like to discuss your team's evaluations." Strauss began.

"I'm sorry, what? I'm confused."

"They didn't tell you, did they. I must admit that they keep secrets from you fairly well based upon what I've seen. Anyway, Agent Hotchner spoke to me for quite a while, finally convincing me to meet with a team member a week or whenever your team had time to discuss you and your role on this team and your place in this bureau."

Everything seemed to make sense. Spencer acted strangely and now that she thought about it, so did the rest of the team. It all was coming together.

"The first Agent I spoke with was Agent Prentiss. She said some powerful things and I'll admit she really did get me thinking about the matter."

"What did she say? Do you remember anything specifically?" Strauss gave her a look, but thought back anyway and nodded.

"She said you were brave. She mentioned how the entire time you were - well preoccupied, you didn't shed a tear. I really didn't understand the relevance of her statement until I spoke with the other agents."

She paused to allow the woman in front of her to take in this information.

"Agent David Rossi was the next I spoke with who said that although you were young, you were experienced. Agent Hotchner gave a similar statement. Hearing such words from such esteemed profilers, I did have a renewed faith in your abilities and skill in the field."

The agent in question felt a sliver of hope, but didn't want to get too excited.

"Your liaison also said you were very good at your job and that you were important. To tell you the truth, I didn't understand the relevance of what she said, but it still had an impression on me. Your tech girl, Garcia, said you had a way of holding your 'family' together. She said without you, your team wouldn't be the family you are now. Now Agents Morgan and Reid's sessions proved to be less professional."

Nicole snapped her head up, afraid of what the two men might have done.

"What happened?" she asked sheepishly

"Both men showed a great deal of protectiveness and were completely guarded and full of aggression. I wasn't surprised to see this behavior from Agent Morgan, but to see this from Agent Reid was not what I expected."

"W-What kind of things did they say?"

"Umm Agent Morgan mentioned much of what happened to you in the moment as opposed to what accomplishments you've had in the field. As far as Agent Reid, he spoke about your emotional condition and from a doctor's perspective spoke about your resiliency and improvement."

"Agent, you must understand that your team has gone to great lengths to try and protect your position here at the BAU. You've risked their lives, the reputation of this agency, and overall caused quite a stir throughout the media. You acted poorly in your situation and risked yourself in ways and times unnecessary. Everything I've learned tells me to fire you immediately, regardless of what your team had to say about you."

The woman swallowed very hard, feeling the tears welling in her eyes.

"You're absolutely right. I could've handled everything much better and I apologize. Thank you for allowing me to work here and to honestly have the greatest job with the greatest people I've ever met. My friends. My family. Thank you." Nicole stood up and reached out a hand to say goodbye to her Section Chief.

"Agent, after reviewing everything, I'm allowing you to keep your job here in this Unit with your team. These few weeks I've watched you interact with each and every member and it's clear you all have made bonds that I can't understand. Normally, with just that, you still would no longer have a job here. However, your team has successfully solved almost a record number of cases in such a short time. You've handled them cleanly, with a minimal amount of death as well as error. It's exceptional. I can promise you if another incident were to occur and I was to find you here in my office for a third time, you would not be as lucky and you would leave your team. Are you clear on that?"

Nicole stared in awe at the woman in front of her and immediately burst into a bright smile.

"Permission to hug you, Chief Strauss?" the agent asked lightly. The Chief stared at her a moment, then nodded slightly. She squeezed her elder thankfully.

"Thank you. Thank you so much. I promise you that you won't regret this." With a smile, the young girl bound out of the room, tears cascading down her face.

"You did it. You guys did it." she smiled, her voice breaking. The team smiled, each taking turns hugging her after Derek had his long-lasting hug in which he lifted her off the ground and refused to set her down. After making her way through hugging each of her team members personally, she finally made it to Spencer.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and he buried his nose in her shoulder, holding her tighter than he ever had before. She pressed her lips to his cheek and suddenly froze. The room went silent besides the other few people walking through the area as a means of travel to get to their destinations around the building. A woman cleared her throat and in an instant, the agent knew it wasn't a member of her team, but none other than their superior. She slowly removed her lips from his cheeks which had turned a bright red shade and turned to meet the eyes of Chief Strauss, standing outside her office, looking down upon the team.

"There's one thing we neglected to discuss, which you just engaged in a moment ago." the woman said, her eyes not as warm as before.

"Relationships such as the one you two seem to share aren't to be tolerated. There have been many cases in which one if not both of the members were transferred to other teams and also in some cases fired completely from the bureau." The team looked back between the authoritative woman and the two members in love.

"Chief I understand how much leeway you've granted me already, but you've got understand. I've never loved anyone more in my life. We're completely professional in the field. What you just witnessed was entirely my fault and again I accept full responsibility. Please don't blame my team or punish them for my careless actions. The reason all of this came about was because of me and if a transfer is in order I understand. I confessed my true feelings in the tape and I-"

Erin Strauss cut off the young agent to speak her mind

"That's exactly why you're so lucky. I've seen the tape after convincing from your team and I saw everything. You've gone through a great deal and you handled it fairly well. I trust you and Doctor Reid will keep everything under wraps. If this gets out, not only will you two be out of jobs, but so will I for neglecting to report such a thing. Please be smart about this."

"Thank you, Chief. Our team appreciates and will never forget your generosity." Aaron Hotchner said, turning to face the couple, a smile pulling at his lips.

"Thank you. Again, you won't regret it." the agent smiled, hugging each of her members again. They were glad to have her back.

Over the next week, her anxiety disappeared almost entirely, and her focused returned in the field while off hours, she spent time with her lover, basking in every moment they could possibly have together, even if only a car ride.

It's funny how things work out.

Funny when the last person you expect to - the person you perceived as the villain all along - saves the day.

It just goes to show how even the best in the business can't get everything right all the time.

For the record, no one could have predicted such a happy ending - not even the talented profilers at the BAU in Quantico, Virginia.

**THE END**

**Thoughts? Please send feedback! I hope you enjoyed! :D**


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